An Eternal Debt (The Pied Piper of Hamlin)

Cherry

By marandina

Sat, 14 May 2022
  • 3384 reads
24 comments
 

This is an adaptation of the story of the Pied Piper of Hamlin which is also a Grimm’s fairy tale

 

Audio version at: https://soundcloud.com/user-62051685/an-eternal-debt-the-pied-piper

 

An Eternal Debt (The Pied Piper of Hamlin)

Clouds tumble across Hamlin skies,

plague rats squeak, bleak columns,

entrancing whimsical notes - airborne,

enigmatic sounds of a magic pipe.

A piper pied, dressed in finery,

lures rodents to watery depths

where Weser welcomes with

its withering embrace of death.

A hero now cast as villain,

due recompense not to be paid,

as solemn hymns are sung on

the day of St Paul and St John.

Once more the piper comes,

stalking in shadows; strains of

mercurial music to summon

naïve children of villagers.

Follow and dance, smile and prance,

to a hidden cave they follow,

church bells peel in the distance

calling ghosts of windswept echoes.

  

 

Image free to use at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pied_Piper_of_Hamelin#/media/File:Pied_Piper2.jpg

Footnote

The Hamelin street named Bungelosenstrasse ("street without drums") is believed to be the last place that the children were seen. Ever since, music or dancing is not allowed on this street

Certificate PG
Poem
Miscellaneous Poems
Fantasy

Comments

Submitted by hilary west on

There is something attractive about the tale of the piper and your poem too is attractive. I was moved by the footnote that no singing or dancing is allowed on Bungelosenstrasse ever since that fateful day.

hilary   smiley

 

Submitted by marandina on

Thanks for reading it, Hilary. Yes, there is something enduring about old fairy tales. They are eternal stories. Paul :) 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Wonderful - spoken and written versions both. I just went to wikipedia as it made me wonder what really happened - several theories apparently! Thank you for posting

 

Submitted by marandina on

Ah thank you for reading and listening. Yes, the story is so old that the details have become sketchy, in particular how it ends. I liked the version where the children get lured to a cave and the myth attached to the German street where music is never played is wonderful. Paul 

 

Submitted by marandina on

Thank you for the cherries, ABC Eds. Much appreciated. Paul :) 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

It is interesting the theories of what event may have triggered the legend, but the caution of going back on your promise came I think clearly from it when reading it as a child, and enjoying Robert Browning’s

 Rats!
They fought the dogs, and killed the cats,
   And bit the babies in the cradles,
And eat the cheeses out of the vats,
   And licked the soup from the cooks' own ladles, …

and other rhytmic and alliterative parts and flowing narrative.

He had the little lame boy failing to get in in time, and I gather some have a deaf child and a bllind child also not being able to respond, which may be a caution to children of not being easily carried away by an exciting entertainer?! Left with their disabilities, but indebted to them for their liberty? Rhiannon

 

 

Submitted by marandina on

Thanks for reading it, Rhiannon. Ah... the wonderful Robert Browning. Thank you for the quotes and references. Enjoyed. Paul :) 

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Great comment.

 

Submitted by Tom Brown on

Which goes to show, pay the piper!

Cheers Paul! Tom

 

Submitted by marandina on

Ah thanks for reading it, Tom. Always great to hear from you! Paul :) 

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

I like it when you do new versions of old things. Reading your poem made me think that this story would be the good basis for a warning about climate change, our debt being to Nature. Your re telling is wonderfully stark

 

Submitted by marandina on

Ah thanks for reading it, Di. I like the darker fairy tales so that's probably why it seems stark. Analogies for climate change would be appropriate for our times. Thanks again. Paul :) 

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I enjoyed reading your adaption of this mysterious story. I often wonder if it's based on some facts, your poem makes me think of the many other people that have disappeared into thin air without a trace. Just maybe there are places in the world that have a portal between our world and others. 

I too am also fascinated by the darker Grimm's fairy tales, and this is one of those touching on a subject I'm so interested in. 

More please! smiley

Jenny.

 

Submitted by marandina on

Thanks for reading, Jenny. Yes, maybe there are portals. Who knows? Fairy tales invariably have dark origins. Many of the Grimm's tales started out as... well.... pretty grim stories. I do like writing these. Thanks again. Paul :) 

 

Submitted by Penny4athought on

Grimm's tales certainly are grim (pun intended) never thought they were palatable for young children but definitely thought fine reading for young adults. Your version of this dark account of the Pied Piper was nicely orchestrated and I liked the alternate look at events, and the added footnote was a haunting history note.

Penny4athought

Submitted by marandina on

Thanks for reading it, Penny. Hoping you are well. Paul :) 

 

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

One of my favourite tales because everything about it is fascinating and mostly very plausible. I like your modern take and anything which keeps this story alive. You have succeded in maintaining the sinisterness of the original.

 

Submitted by marandina on

Ah thanks for reading it, Jane. That's what I hope for when I write this kind of material - keeping it faithful to the origins of the story. Made up that you think I have managed it here. Paul 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Paul

 

I had forgotten the ending of the story, but it certainly changes it.  You do a very good job of telling the story.

Jean Day

Submitted by marandina on

Thanks for reading it, Jean. The story is so old that there are a few alternate endings. I preferred a darker one. Take care. Paul 

 

Submitted by celticman on

interesting. pay your debts--or else. 

 

Submitted by marandina on

Thanks for reading it, CM. Yep.. consequences...always consequences...

 

Submitted by David Kirtley on

I enjoyed your poem relating the old story nicely! It is a great story, which can be used as a moral tale, and as a speculation about what could have happened to the children! I seem to remember reading that quite a few German cities/towns claim a similar legend, not just Hamelin!

Submitted by marandina on

Thanks for reading it, David. And that's interesting that other German cities have similar stories! Paul