The Experts #2

At 5 a.m. a young woman appeared on telly with expensive hair, full makeup, snazzy earrings and a mouthful of large glowhite teeth (easily capable of gnawing through a giant redwood tree). She was announced as the founder and CEO of a new business empire. The screen then showed this young lady applying a particular brand of lipstick via YouTube podcast.

She was not only the founder and CEO, but also the only staff member....

Hem.

Elsewhere, another expert rose to his feet. It was Dr. Wally, speaking at the monthly meeting of the G500 top nations CHAT (Conference of Hot Air Tossers).

"I am an expert in this field. Like a cow dropping cowpats you could say. Ha ha. I can now announce a new dawn in our understanding of global warming. It is NOT after all the consequence of chimneys and tree cutting!"

"Gasp!" From the hung over audience. (A week of partying and lap dancers had taken its toll).

Yes, friends! Evidence now indicates that 4500 million years of geothermal changes in the earth's mantle periodically changes temperatures on the surface."

"Oooooh!" Warbled the audience.

"Yes friends. And we, as the super powerful yet pernicious human race have caused all of it!"

"Boo, hiss!"

"So, friends, it is my proud duty to announce that the new official policy of CHAT is to crack down on earthquakes, block all volcanos, and to stop all temperature changes on the earth's crust, forthwith.

"Brilliant!"

"Is there any money in it?"

"Yes, yes. Obviously. No point otherwise."

"Can we still travel the world getting photographed?"

"Of course! Of course! The world is our oyster."

"And we ARE the experts".