Ead's invisible bin spaceship

Written 2017

Ead pressed the buttons of his spaceship and brought it into land at
Trafalgar Square. It was 1pm in the afternoon on a Saturday.

No one saw the spaceship land as he had cloaked it. All that happened
was that a bin appeared in Trafalgar Square. However, Ead had been
even more careful and decided to make the spaceship invisible.
Therefore, an invisible bin arrived in Trafalgar Square but did not
appear, as much as, failed to add to the number of bins.

Jade was standing near the landing site of the invisible bin/spaceship.
She certainly felt something but with the lack of actual – bin, she
put it down to having had one too many coffees. Then when a man
appeared from nowhere, she could only assume this was perfectly
normal for someone as wired as her.

The man looked at her with, well, complete lust. She just knew that the
dress was too skimpy but it had been so hot that morning.

“Hello earth woman,” said Ead. “My name is Ead. Error 451…”

Jade never talked to funny men, especially with funny accents. She tugged
the dress around the bust in order to hide them a bit but she felt
the hem rise up her leg. Her plan had backfired and she now felt
quite creeped out. She decided to walk away but found that she was
unable to.

Ead congratulated himself on having packed his mobile tractor beam. It
worked as well on this human as it had worked on the giant
Bastardaril warship he had encountered on the way to earth. Now it
would hold the human until he could get his translator back online.
The human was struggling.

Scot was prowling around the square when he saw a pretty girl with great
legs struggling to get away from a weird guy. Scot was never one to
pass a damsel in distress. He ran over to them and called to the
girl.

“He troublin’ you babe?”

“I want him to go away,” she shrieked.

Scot landed his best right hook on the funny man. The funny man went over
backwards. The girl virtually leaped into Scot’s arms. Scot took
this as a good sign and made away from the man holding her hand.

They ran for a few blocks out towards St James’s Park. Scot felt very
manly that day.

Jade had felt the tractor beam loosen its grip, and as she had been
struggling to free herself, was flung towards the muscly man wearing
shorts. She collided with his sweaty torso. Next thing she knew, he
had grabbed her hand and tugged her off to St James’s Park. After
the effects of the tractor beam she felt helplessly pulled along.

When they got to the park, the man stopped tugging her but failed to let
go of her hand. He turned to her.

“Lucky I was there darlin’”

He leered towards her, his other hand came up and touched her leg,
pulling at the hem. She could feel fresh air where it should not have
been. The muscle man bought his face close to hers and his tongue
lolled out, then he pitched forward and placed his face in her
cleavage. For some reason he then slumped to the floor and passed
out.

She looked up and standing before her was the other weird man. She
wondered if the day could get any worse.

When Ead was punched, he went over backwards and the tractor beam
generator flew out of his hand. However, it did put the translator
unit online. When the stars stopped floating around his head, he saw
the woman being tugged away. He got unsteadily up and followed. When
they got to the park, the man started to do things to the woman that
were unacceptable by Ead’s standards. Ead fired a stun bolt into
the man and he slumped forward and then to the floor.

“Sorry,” he said to the woman, “English not good, that not a nice man.” He
pointed at Scot. “Please, can you tell me the way to Tesco? I’m
starving.”