Question 14 - Do women expect too much...

Question Fourteen – Do you think women’s expectations of men are too high for what men can actually offer? If yes, in what way?

These are the story-answers of some respondents

Donna,

No, why must a woman's expectations of a man change, when a man’s expectation of a woman doesn’t change.

Alyss,

I think back to fairytales and the images that women have of men, where they are all royal, strong, wealthy, attractive and can handle the dragons of life. I reckon, those expectations are higher than the sports, beer, work and car-focused men in the world are at. Women seem to have been out and about bettering themselves and learning to live in different roles, men seem to be in the same role they have always been in and not interested in sharing the load of the ‘traditionally accepted’ woman’s role of cook, cleaner and most-active-parent. It seems the reality of what can balance a relationship is a far stretch from was idealism brings up in the picture-book story. So, I guess it’s a “yes” from me. Men are as broken and vulnerable as anyone, and women won’t get that as few men are willing to step off their masculine pedestal and engage with women as human beings together. I also think there is little understanding between the opposites and each expects the other to be their ideal, but the thing is, ideal doesn’t exist, only making the best with what you have exists, in my experiences anyway…

CJ 

Yes and no. There are many men who have been brought up with traditional beliefs that men are the providers and women are the nurturers and should stay home and look after the children.

Many of these men do not know what to make of independent women who want more from their lives and expect men to share the workload, rather than do everything for them.

There is also a big misunderstanding on what feminism is and isn’t and insecure men find this very difficult to deal with.

That said, I have seen many examples where men love and respect their partners and have a very healthy and fulfilling relationship. So, I know that my expectations are not too high – I’ve seen what I want and am willing to wait to find the right man.

KA

That’s a very broad question. Every woman has her own set and standard of expectations, and yes some of them are extremely unreasonable. For me personally, all I ‘expect’ is fidelity, trust, love and respect. I don’t think that’s too much for anyone.

NH

I do believe that men today have unrealistic expectations placed on them in terms of being the perfect husband and father, and providing for their family in the perfect way.  It must place them under so much pressure.  Relationships must involve compromise.  Unfortunately, in the media-saturated age in which we live, these false ideals perpetuate and create unrealistic expectations on all sides.

Lizanne

I do, because we were taught from a young age that the man is the provider and men can’t always provide these days as they used to. The role reversals of men and women have not contributed in a helpful way either.

C.B

I don’t think so.  We need to move away from the stereotypical roles that applied in the past.  If I can change the tyre on my car better than my guy, well I must do it. If he cooks and sweeps better than me, then he is welcome to do that function in the relationship.