Depressed

Psychiatrist: So, how are you feeling today?

Patient: Depressed.

Psychiatrist: And how do you feel about that?

Patient: (Pauses) Depressed.

Psychiatrist: So you feel depressed about being depressed... (Writes in notepad) Interesting.

Patient: What? No,I don't. I didn't think you heard what I said. So I repeated myself.

Psychiatrist: So you're not feeling depressed about being depressed.

Patient: (Pauses and frowns, then says slowly) No

Psychiatrist: Well, you should be. Your life is shit. Your mother hates you. Your wife's out probably shagging her co-worker.

Patient: Yeah, all right, Doc. I came here because I thought you'd make me feel better.

Psychiatrist: I will do. I'm just recounting what you told me.

Patient: "Well, make me feel better.

Psychiatrist: Well, I have to say, I'm a little stuck.

Patient: Just tell me I'm being paranoid about my wife.

Psychiatrist: Well, you're not. It's me she's shagging

(Patient goes running from the room)

Psychiatrist: (To himself) What did I say? (Realises) Oh, Shit!