Timeless Love

 

 

Dear Scarlett,

 

 With every passing day, I am reminded of you. They are some days in which I cannot separate my life from yours. I feel as though I knew you before I knew myself. Your face, your smile, your entire being brings renewed life to every fiber of my being. In knowing you, I knew myself. Your amber eyes and warm smile gave me enough hope to face the world. Scarlett, do you know how I fell in love with you? It was during the intersection where the pathways met to reveal a whirl of colors that descended around you with the luke warm breeze. As I walked by, you looked up at an angle that left me speechless. Your red hair in contrast with the myriad of leaves that fell around you mixed with the bright yellow sun made you the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. In saying hello to me, I felt like you saw me when everybody else failed to see me. It was then that I started to develop this feeling that overwhelmed my heart. Scarlett, I am willing to accompany you on this journey called life. Across time and space. However, Scarlett, can you promise me the same?

 

With sincerest love,

Eli

 

“Eli, Eli, Eli….” I screamed as my husband shook me from sleep.

“Honey, are you okay,” Gabriel said.

“Yes, dear.” 

“Who is Eli?”

“Nobody, Gabriel. Go back to sleep, ” I said giving my husband a gentle kiss to his forehead as an indication that all is well. 

 

As I tried to convince my husband to go back to bed on our royal blue covers, the words that never made it to my lips started to take form in my head: Where did my life go wrong? The night my husband and I both slept, he started to feel like the choice I wish I never made. 

 

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When I woke up the next morning, I could not stop thinking of Elliot. Everything from the rustling of the leaves in my backyard to the lamp post in my bedroom reminded me of him. I have loved Elliot Jenkins since my father brought him home to leave with us on July 14, 1984. I remember the way his hair reached to cover his eyes. I loved when he reached to remove the hair from his eyes, the strands parted way to reveal hazel eyes with gold specks. The way he walked with long strides and spoke with such a confidence that was not befitting for a child that had just lost everything. 

 

“Good Afternoon, Mayweather family,” Elliot said with a grin. “Thank you for having me as a permanent resident of your lovely home.”

 

“We are delighted to have you,” my parents said in unison. 

 

You see, Elliot had just witnessed his house along with his parents burn down to the ground. After witnessing such a horrendous event and having no living blood relative, he was shipped to Stockwell Orphanage for Lost Boys. When my father went to inquire after Elliot, what he found was a boy lost in a myriad of flashbacks that left him utterly devoid of any emotions. My father described his encounter with Elliot as speaking with a lifeless robot that although processed what he said, could not give him back the same level of emotions he emitted nor bare to withhold a conversation. Before his parents died, Elliot was full of life and spoke with a voice that commanded attention. When his parents brought him to my father’s office for his weekly general check-up, as my father recollected, he would come into each check-up saying “hello, doc” then he would proceed to tell my father about his day with such vivid animations.

 

“Doc, guess what my father gave me today,” Elliot said. 

“What Elliot?” My father questioned. “Could it be the red and white AIDC AT-3 model airplane in your hand” 

“Why, yes Doc,” he said while flying the airplane around the room in a circular motion. “He gave it to me this morning” 

“Elliot, that is fantastic” my father recollected saying. “I know how much you love model airplanes”

“Yes, isn’t it?” he said. “Poppa saw it in the shop window and he had to get it for me” 

“Poppa and I have been going around shopping for a present for momma’s birthday” he said. “Oh, you should have seen Poppa’s face, while he tried to shop for a dress,” he said giving out a tear jerking laughter.   

“You really shouldn’t laugh at your father like that,” my father said. 

“I know but it was just too funny” he said. “He got all red shopping in the woman section” he continued. “Besides Doc, this is between you and me” he said with a blink of an eye.  

 

 Elliot who sat before my father in the orphanage was not the boy my father remembered. He could not stand to see Elliot without the glimmer of curiosity and happiness befitting for a five-year-old. In remembering his loving parents, my father knew that Elliot would never make it in the orphanage after receiving such immense love from his parents. Taking action, my father decided to adopt Elliot. Although he knew my mother and him could never replace the Jenkins, that did not stop him from trying. Elliot Jenkins was now Elliot Jenkins-Mayweather.

 

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When Elliot first arrived, he never gave any signs that he had been through such a traumatic loss. The only way we knew that he was suffering from the pain was the terrible night terrors he experienced. The mind-numbing screeches he made would echo throughout the house, prompting our parents running down the hall and into his room. After waking up from bed, I would slowly walk over to his room to find our parents holding and soothing him. After nights of persistent terrors, my parents decided to have him see a child psychologist. It would take ten years after Elliot first came to our house for him to really talk to me about the night he lost his parents. I walked into his room to find him frozen in fear.

 

“Eli, you would never guess what I found,” I said.

 

There he was standing there with his back towards me. I could tell something was wrong.

 

“Elliot, what is wrong,” I continued to say.

 

Elliot continued to stand there. I knew he was in a place that nothing I could have said could have reached him. I walked over to him and continued to tap him on the shoulder. It was then Elliot bent down to his knees and cried. He continued to recount the details of that day to me. I remember as he told his story, the heaviness of his voice prompted tears to flow down my cheeks. I hung on to his every word from the moment he started to the moment he ended. After he finished, we both sat there and cried. I had never felt so connected to him as I did that day. After that night, my relationship with Elliot changed.

 

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Elliot and I grew closer after that night. I would later come to find that was because he felt that I was the one who really heard him. He felt that out of everyone he met, I was the one who let him speak about the tragedy that took away his parents, childhood home, and former life when he was ready to speak about the trauma. He felt that everyone was just speaking at him and did not leave him enough space to really process his emotions. My relationship with Elliot later grew to be on a romantic level. A romantic level that will later transform to us getting engaged. The plan was for Elliot and me to marry after Operation Eagle Claw was done. For two years, he would write to me about the war and about how he was coping with being in the line of battle. Every letter was more gruesome than the next. The one thing that stayed constant was Elliot’s promises to return home to me. However, that never happened. Instead, what I received was news of his death. I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. 

 

Knock, Knock, Knock……

“Just a minute…” I said.

“Ms. Mayweather, my name is Captain Steve Johnson,”  he said. “May I come in”

 

“Why, yes, please do,” I said.

 

“Ms. Mayweather, you might want to sit down for this,” he continued. “I am so sorry to inform you that Elliot Jenkins-Mayweather is no more.”

 

As the no more slipped out of his lips, I began to cry myself into hysterics. For days and nights, I could not sleep. When the time came to bury Elliot, the American military could not find a body. All they knew was that Eli was missing in action. All I could do was summon the strength to face all our love ones in a burial service I held in honor of him. The progression of the burial was a haze for me. I went through the motions of a grieving lover. That day, my body became numb. The last thing I remember saying to Elliot before they placed his makeshift casket six feet under was…  

 

Caged bird I know not

your heart.

Nor do I know the rhythm

 

Though I have seen

your tears, heard your words, and watched your life,

 I am still not sure.

 

Caged bird in leaving

your flock and flying away,

 are you happy?

 

Caged bird, did your flying away restore the peace in your heart?

Although I cannot see you, I wish you nothing but the freedom that your heart desires.

 

Caged bird, are you finally free?

 

All I could hope was Elliot was free from the horrors of the war that clouded his mind.

 

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I have always been afraid of death showing up on my doorstep. However, during the war I could not seem to escape death. Hundreds were scattered upon the battlefield. Not knowing when death could come to claim your life really messes with the mind. One by one, the comrades that I made all died. As the war progressed, I could not help but wonder when the time will come before I met an ill fate such as my comrades. Although I promised Scarlett that I would return home safely to her, my mind was overcoming my heart. Oftentimes during the war, I was reminded of the tragedy that claimed my parents. You see, my parents died in a fire. As a child, I remember my mother coming into my room to wake me up.

 

“Elliot, wake up,” my mother said as she woke me from bed.

In a sleepy haze, I woke up to my mother’s worried face. After waking up from sleep, she hurriedly grabbed me and proceeded to run down the corridor. As she ran down the corridor, my father was not too far behind her. All, I heard was his tender voice persuading my mother to keep going.

 

“Sarah, keep going,” my father yelled.

“I am trying John,” my mother screamed back.

Then my mother continued to whisper into my ears the same phrase over and over again.

 

“I love you Elliot,” she repeated over and over again.

 

This was the same phrase she managed to whisper as she ran down each flight of stairs. With each stair, the fire rapidly consumed our five-story house. By the time my mother reached the door, the fire had spread to consume the entire house. At this point, I could not see my father. When we finally got to the door, my mother unlocked the door and allowed me safe passage through the door. Before turning my head, all I heard was a large boom. When I turned my head to look back, my parents, my house, and everything I knew was gone with the fire.

 

As the war progressed, I was oftentimes fixated on this particular time in my life. When I would write my letter to Scarlett, I was reminded of how Scarlett got me through my parents death. Even now, Scarlett was getting me through the war. I clung on to her through the good and bad points during the war. It was Scarlett name that brought me back to her.

 

We were trying to reclaim the frontier but we miscalculated the amount of war power the other side had. The amount of warfare brought was more than we could handle. We had to retreat. While we were retreating, I decide to hide behind a ditch. They were gaining on us and I promised Scarlett before I left that no matter what, I will return back to her. I saw my comrades gaining a lead on the other side. Then a bomb hit. The impact was enough to knock the air out of me. Twice, I had escape death.

 

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Two years, I grieved Elliot. Before meeting Gabriel, all I could think of was Elliot. The house we grew up in had traces of him in them. I cried terribly for him day and night. I have always heard that the death of a loved one gets easier with time but I found that to be a lie. It turns out it takes someone walking alongside you in your grief to pull you back into the world. That is what Gabriel did for me. His personality was enough to break into the world I created in my grief. He would constantly check up on me. He did not know it but he helped me get through a difficult time in my life. This was one of the reasons why I married Gabriel. Gabriel and I had one and half good years together before Elliot came back into my life. I believe my life started to take a wrong turn when Elliot showed up at my doorstep. I was coming out my house to go work when I saw Elliot. Oftentimes, I would see Elliot face in people that were not there. So this time when I saw him, I shook my head and kept going. It was not until he spoke my name and touched my arm did I realize that Elliot Jenkins-Mayweather was not dead. 

 

“Scarlett, it is good to see you,” Elliot said.

“Eli, is that really you,” I said with caution.

“Yes, it is me in the flesh,” he said.

 

Tears began to flow down my cheeks. I did not how much I really missed Elliot until I saw him alive again. Instinctively, Elliot moved forward to hug me. We just stood there crying. Once we recovered our bearings, he started to tell me about how he lost his memory after the bomb and  was presumed dead. It was not until he heard my name that he started to feel like something was missing in his life. At the time all he remembered was his name. When he did some digging, he found my name and picture in the family registry. It was then he remembered who I was and who I meant to him. With a little bit more digging, he found out I had married Gabriel.

 

“Scarlett, twice I have escaped death,” he said. “In escaping death I realized death to me is a shattering of the life I have now, what I most desire, and the image I have of the world.” “Scarlett before I die and my world really ends, I want to have loved you and have had lived the rest of life with you.”

 

“Scarlett, please read the letter,” he said before leaving.

 

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It took me a minute to realize that the one I have always wanted to be with was Elliot. However, it took me a year to finally decide to leave Gabriel. I have often wondered if a time will come

when my heart putters for the one I love. In that, I am willing to risk it all for love. Now, I know such a time has come.