MOMENTS

 

I liked you at first,

Because you liked me

And then you stopped.

 

I couldn’t handle it

All of a sudden

Your voice was like music

Your presence like an opiate

I called you all the time,

We sat at my wall

At three in the morn

Me at fifteen and you at infinite charm

And I waited…

 

Waited for you to like me again.

 

Ten thousand calls later

Countless words into it

I went as far as to teach my heart to like you more

Counting on reciprocity to be the cure

But you were immune to human courtesy and I remained alone

And in my grief ridden state, anything went

Especially the time we spent

 

My twenties came

And I saw an opportunity,

A gift of sorts that was never yours

To take, nor mine to give

Four hours it took but the stars remained stationary,

And all the things that were supposed to begin or end it

remained,imaginary.

 

Once, a long time ago

When you were at peace whilst I was at war

You said it silently

Held me tight

It was echoed by the beating of your heart

That was my moment and that ought to have been enough...

 

It’s hard to teach my heart to forget

To not declare, or lament

To not find you dazzling in those moments

When the air crinkles around your eyes…

 

It’s hard to remember

That it’s not my air

And that those aren’t my eyes

And no amount of time can change

My yearning or your wanderous heart

 

 

The winds of youth have settled now, the panging aches have ceased

I have fallen once more,

And I know I should let this go

Stand on a cliff and throw it off

But who says a day won’t come

When the moon is high and the night is dark

And a hidden song won’t break out of its hum

 

I sit again on that wall, head held high

No meandering of thoughts

Just one clear vision of the hours spent

I never did know how to make them count

 

Though the truth was always a stranger to me then,

I deserved better than you ever gave,

And though you deserved no less,

Between the two of us it should have been obvious

That it was not necessary to drag it out this much

 

I still want to hold your hand as the gloom approaches

And the gate closes on the embankments of my heart

And one last time remember that

You said it silently

Held me tight

and have it echo the beating of your heart

whispering to mine

That this…

This is enough.