Now and Never

The rain drizzles lightly outside my kaleidoscope window. I wonder who won today? Did life overtake me in the unending race? Am I at the bottom as I sit here listening to old songs that conjure up recycled memories? Have I exhausted all my inspiration? Do my midnight morning whisperings get lost in the mid afternoon preachings that are the daily grind? Was there something important, something worthy cultivated by my person? Did I make a difference, would the world notice my absence?

Lost in my own imaginings I write, grappling at questions said in the dark that in the light seem to bear no meaning. The banter replaces the solemn vows, other people's lives and auras saturate my being. Society pulls me in.

I am on a cliff overlooking my own destruction, nestled in a tragic poem lacking the energy for speech.I am a question that was left unanswered for so long that it is not remembered who asked it.The mind forgets but the body remembers and on the verge of verges my feet begin to move to the old tunes, fear, melancholia.

I am a thread in the fabric, an individual in the whole, an in dispensable part, completely indellible and unmistakably alive. I fall deep in the throngs of life, weaving in and out of time.

The butterfly perched on my finger flickers in the dull grey light of the day outside.I am no longer afraid. I remember now where the sky came from and what it is like to fly. I see all the worlds in an instant and time, that relative avatar is taken over by meaning. Its simply now and never and nothing else matters.