Omar's Diary for 25th August 2016
By Alan Russell
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Last week the Servants went away for a few days leaving me alone with the two Chavs in Omar Towers. It was quite a worrying time for the three of us as we watched them pack their suitcases and put them in the limousine. No one had told us what the arrangements, if any, were to make sure that we had our regular meals. Had our Servants even bothered?
Later in the day our worries were ameliorated as we were attended to by a very nice Itinerant Lady Servant who made sure that all of our meals were served on time. Just like the Prospective Lady Servant in March, Itinerant Lady Servant just tried to be a bit too familiar with me and tried to give me a cuddle. I objected firmly but politely as she quite obviously does not appreciate the full protocol between felines and their servants, especially itinerant ones.
My full time Servants returned on Saturday 20th August and goodness they looked very tired and glad to be home. Much of their inter species conversation referred to lodgings they stayed in somewhere in the north of England? Scarborough I believe is the name of the town. They stayed in an establishment that they described as one of the worst, if not the worst, lodgings they have have ever stayed in. It was very grand on the outside but far from grand on the inside. They were both very glad to have found alternative accommodation for the rest of their stay in Scarborough as they were very worried about picking up an infection of some sort.
It is very strange. My Servants have been home for less than a week and by the most serendipitous of coincidences since their return I have been suffering from a skin irritation. My irritation became so bad last night that I was rushed to the surgery earlier this evening. There the kind doctor examined me and diagnosed that I have contracted an allergic reaction to ‘mites’. I would quite happily lay the blame for this on the Chavs as one never knows where they go to or whom they go with when they go off gallivanting at all hours of the day and night and what company they are bringing into Omar Towers. However, I have not noticed them getting in the least bit scratchy over the last few days so I have to assume that my Servants are responsible for my irritations. To relieve the symptoms the kind doctor gave me a steroid injection.
Man Servant quipped that after the injection I would be very well qualified to compete as a Russian athlete. I do hope the surgery was not bugged by the Russian secret police, otherwise Man Servant may be in a spot of clandestine bother.
He needn’t worry as I will, I believe the colloquial term is, ‘watch his back’ for him. I will keep a watchful eye open between sleeps and meals for limousines with darkened windows patrolling our tree lined avenue or even for suspicious men in dark suits. I must admit that I do get a bit tired of having to do this for Man Servant clearing up after his petite faux pas.
I like the use of the French language as it has such an elegant and sophisticated cadence to it. What I do object to is the way the Servants use acronyms rather than proper names. It is almost like a secret code. One such acronym that is causing me difficulty is ‘LSH’. I hear it quite often when they return home after having a riding lesson on their respective equines. The term ‘LSH’ seems to have assigned itself to Lady Servant’ equine. I just wish I knew what it meant.
Oh oh, there is a black limousine just pulled up at the end of our drive. I must say the Russians do move quickly. Oh dear, silly me. It is a taxi collecting the neighbours from next door.
I am not going to mention how my racing selections over the past few weeks have performed but suffice to say, I think it best to draw a close on the recent past and look forward to a new start with a clean slate. To that end Man Servant and I have taken a very studious look at the racing from Goodwood on Saturday afternoon 27th August. The four selected for the fun Lucky Fifteen are:
1445 Grecian Light 2/1
1520 Sinfonieta 14/1
1555 Platitude 9/4
1630 Thikriyaat 7/4
Have a very good Bank Holiday weekend everyone.
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