Omar's Diary for Friday 3rd October 2017

On Sunday, Trainer Servant made a house visit and stayed for dinner.  That I did not mind as he is very kind to felines like myself although I have not given him the privilege of picking me up yet.  That will come later and will be entirely on my own terms.  What I do mind is that Trainer Servant insists on bringing his canine named ‘Annie’.  Her breeding may be excellent but oh my goodness does she need to learn some manners.

Firstly, it is not the best of form when one is a guest in a house to pursue the number one feline, me, cornering me on the telephone table in the hallway. Secondly, it is most uncouth to beg for titbits from the dinner table.  It just looks so degrading and is something I, a well-bred feline, would never in my wildest dreams ever consider doing.  Even for the most delicious morsel that happened to appear on the Servant’s table.

The Servants were away the other night and so Chav and I were looked after by Itinerant Lady Servant who served our breakfasts.  This is a most welcome change in the routine as normally my Servants are up very early and serve feline breakfast at about six or six thirty. This is just too early as at this time of day it only seems like a few minutes ago that I have hung up my smoking jacket and retired for the night.  No, nine in the morning is a much more civilised time for breakfast for the well-bred feline like myself and the Chav just has to fit in with the rest of the household as far as meal times are concerned.

I understand that while the Servants were away that Man Servant got into a spot of bother with Lady Servant.  From what I understand he was being the perfect gentleman, wherever they were, by telling Lady Servant he would bring her smart clothes from the car for her to change into somewhere in the dry.  The day they were away it did rain an awful lot.  Man Servant took her bag out of the car and placed it on the pavement.  He then took his out of the car, locked it and proudly walked into the coffee shop where Lady Servant was waiting.  She took her bag and went off to change.  All was good until she returned to their seats still wearing her casual clothes.

‘My clothes are soaked!’

‘How?’

‘Look, the bag, it’s soaked, my trousers, my sweater and my blouse for this morning….all soaked!’

What happened was that Lady Servant’s bag is a light canvas holdall and when Man Servant put it down on the wet pavement the bag made quite a decent effort to dry up a puddle outside the coffee shop.

Oh dear, it does sound like things were a bit stressed.

Lady Servant rushed around the charity shops and managed to recover the situation.  Man Servant apparently said that she looked smarter than she would have in the original choice of clothes.  What was he thinking after all those years reading about diplomacy?  My self, personally, I would not even have thought of saying that sort of thing.  I gather the drive home was very quiet that afternoon.

This morning they were both away early looking very tired.

Recently Man Servant bought a subscription to an online newspaper.  Without divulging which paper, I hasten to add that it is a quality one that when he does buy a copy is still in broadsheet format.  This means that I can no longer peruse a paper of such good standing as often as I would like to.  So, I have to make do with the free ones that come through the letter box.  The local paper is mildly interesting and did get rather heated correspondence leading up to the BREXIT referendum and just after. The publishers blocked all letters raising such high political issues just before Christmas.  Instead the letters are much more local on subjects such as the bus service. Doesn’t affect me as I have my own limousine and chauffeur.  Ideas for reorganising the traffic.  Doesn’t affect me.  Then there are the short articles about achievements at local schools and local sports teams.  All very important but I must admit quite parochial.  I do hope when Man Servant is out and about over the weekend that he does bring home a decent newspaper as I really do want to catch up with what is happening in the wider world.