I had an idea

"I had this idea, and then it went away. Up into the sky for another
day perhaps when I'm drunk or stoned or late or early or I don't know
when. But hopefully it will be back."

"Ideas do that, man. You know... all those conversations we've had
whilst drunk, you know, where we've solved everything, worked our lives
out, decided to quit our jobs and take to the road for a few months,
live for ourselves be our own boss... and then we wake in the morning
and have no idea, only a fleeting memory of what we were going to do,
how we were going to do it. Maybe the best ideas stay with you, maybe
the ones which get you excited and then you go to do something about
them and then can't remember the full details or whatever just aren't
meant to be?"

"That makes sense&;#8230; but this idea, it was an award winner, you
know... it was so simple so brilliant but now it's gone. What if that
keeps happening? You know&;#8230; I started to carry a notebook
around with me, and tried to write down everything that I thought was a
good idea, ideas for poems, ideas for stories, just random
things&;#8230; things floating through my mind."

"That didn't help?"

"I found that as soon as I took the pen to the paper and started to
write, more ideas came and I couldn't get them all down in time, I
don't know&;#8230; it's like I'm going through this, this, this
thing where my mind is permanently active, thinking of new ways to
express myself, new things to write down, but it's all happening to
fast, sometimes I wish it would just go&;#8230; the creativity that
I'm feeling twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. You know when
the last time I actually went to sleep was, at least without falling
unconscious from sheer exhaustion was?"

"No&;#8230; "

"Neither can I! It's like I lay my head on the pillow and
"BOOOOOOOOOOM!!!" my mind goes into overdrive, I think I'm going
insane."

"Nah, it's just a phase. Here, gimme a smoke."

"Here."

"I had that&;#8230; you know what I did?"

"No."

"I just shut my self down, I drank to stop it happening, especially at
night. I'd drink until I fell unconscious and then the next thing I'd
know is&;#8230;"

"What the bottom of the toilet looks like at three in the morning, good
one."

"I'd be awake, it'd be morning. I'd be far to groggy to think of
anything, let alone sit and write something or paint or go take a
photo, hell, even going for a walk."

"I don't want that&;#8230; what if I kill all the ideas off? I'd be
an empty shell."

"Light?"

"Oh yeah."

"It wont happen man, you're a talented guy, I mean look at some of the
stuff you've written recently."

"Yeah, but it's not as good as the earlier stuff when I actually had to
try to write, as opposed to now when the flood gates have been opened
and I'm drowning in ideas."

"I wish I was in your shoes, I've not written anything for ages. I've
not even bothered to load up my computer and try. I've lost it."

"Maybe we're both loosing it. Maybe I've lost it and the continual
barrage of ideas is just my brains way of clearing itself&;#8230;
pushing so many ideas at me that I can't hope to remember any of
them."

"That's not even a possibility. You've only just found yourself. I
think you're putting too much pressure on yourself and you're mind is
working overtime because you've only really just found your style, your
voice or whatever. Maybe you've awoken a part of your brain that you've
never used too much before."

"Beer?"

"Sure."

"Two beers please. Anyhow. What I need is to find a way of getting all
this out of me. Maybe carry a Dictaphone or something around with me
and just record everything, that way it will come out as soon as it
appears in my head."

"Might work, I knew a guy who used to do that. Said it drove him nuts
though after a while, said that he'd be dictating something into the
recorder and all these people kept crowding around him to see what he
was doing and that used to just throw him off his train of thought.
Hey, maybe you just need a distraction."

"What kind of distraction? I've been trying to distract myself for
months now. Tried everything. I've been out with women, I've hung out
with friends I've not seen for a while and they just ask 'you still
writing?' and then they wanna know what and it begins again. There is
no distraction."

"Take a holiday."

"Yeah, cos there ain't nothing like a change of scenery to fill you
with new ideas. I don't need new ideas, I'm still trying to sort out
the old ones!"

"Just a suggestion."

"I know&;#8230; sorry for snapping."

"Shall we move on?"

"Yeah, this place is dull."

"Yeah. Get something to eat or something."

"Yeah, ok."

"Lets go."