nebulous

Cherry

By a.lesser.thing

Mon, 01 Apr 2013
  • 578 reads
6 comments
 

gives a gun to the little girl whose face
is pressed against the pet store glass
and says: shoot me

the little girl stares at the
mechanical death
and says: i will,
in time

the man, the narrator, stares
stumped at the little girl
lower lip laying, he asks: what
do you mean?

through eyes of green
this little girl displays a scene of
tranquility; through lips of pink and
a sense of mortality, she says: my child,
nothing is forever. i have designed you
this way because i know you can uphold
under stormy weather. don't you know
your soles are calloused for a reason?
it is supposed to hurt, my dear; pain
is a side affect to life, and love is
a cause of life, and even if pain
causes your face to rain, i'm saying
it's a gain. so hold on.

Certificate PG
Poem
Nature

Comments

Submitted by The Walrus on
A powerful piece, a.l.t., I especially like the opening stanzas.

Submitted by sid on
Love the subtle rhyming in this, gives it real flow

 

Submitted by a.lesser.thing on
Thank you two! Also, Walrus, I had you in mind when I was writing this piece. :) You said you'd like to see a piece which did not come from my nastier feelings, and here it is--I've got hope, still, but sometimes it can be well disguised.

 

Submitted by sid on
Just spotted a little typo- 'pain is a side affect to life...' I think it should be 'effect.' Really like 'through eyes of green/through lips of pink,' and yes there is a vein of hope running through this, albeit deeply buried, that makes it strangely uplifting

 

Submitted by a.lesser.thing on
I'm not quite sure when it comes to this poem and the context it's used in. I was taught by my English teacher that you should use 'affect' because it deals with emotions (pain), and 'effect' had to do with a series of events. It applies to both definitions in this line in my poem, so I defaulted to affect because of the fact that it is a feeling/etc. And thank you so much! That's what I intended it to be; a raw poem that spoke in many more ways than one. Thank you so much, Sid! :)

 

Submitted by VeraClark on
This is great. Shot through with vulnerability and strength. The last words 'so hold on' are a double edged sword for me because the girl imagery adds fragility to the piece. But I had no doubt she'd make it.