why dont you love me when i love you

By alfie1997

Wed, 23 Nov 2011
  • 735 reads
3 comments
 

My love is a red, red, rose
What makes this feeling no one knows.
But you are the one my heart chose,
Out of the other women and there fancy clothes.

If the words "I love you" are true,
It shows I have truly fallen for you.
Don say "I'm lying" cause I'm clearly not,
My heart beats for you around the clock.

So stop trying to avoid me my love
As you are like an angel from up above.
I'm atracted to you like a magnet,
They say opposites attract and this is it.

They say love is blind,
But a picture of you is always in my mind.
Keep saying that "I don't love you"
But my love from me to you is also true.

But because you don't love me,
I can finally see
That life is not worth living without you.
I hope we can meet again as my love was true.

Certificate U
Poem
love and romance poems

Comments

Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Ahhh... lovely poem, alfie! Hope it all goes well and you get your true love - keep writing and don't give up :)

Submitted by alfie1997 on
Thanks for your comment penandpaperdreams really nice.

Submitted by TVR on
Hi Alfie, this was very sweet and heartfelt, and a really good attempt at total rhyme. Syntax a little clumsy rather than poetic, but that will come with practice. If you seriously like poetry, read all sorts and if possible, good examples too, you’ll get the feel how the best do it. Just a couple of glitches: ‘there’ should be ‘their’ as in ‘and their fancy clothes’; and in your second stanza (verse) you have ‘Do’ and I’m pretty certain you mean ‘Don’t’. Other than that, it’s pretty good, nice sentiments and I enjoyed it. Well done! sue

TVR