CHECKING THE MEETING AGENDA

What is ‘Stiff update’? Shouldn’t that be staff update?

No. It’s an update on who’s bored rigid.

‘Penis and pencils’? Surely that should be pens and pencils?

Nope. Some dickhead keeps stealing the stationery – we want to find out who!

‘Table and hairs.’ There isn’t a c missing?

No, that’s right. There is evidence that some freak keeps brushing their hair in the staff room. The message to them is ‘do not do your hair there’! People eating their lunch at the table don’t want to be eating hair too.

So ‘Cock in the toilet’ – that’s about someone having sexual activity in the work loo?

What?! No! You’ve got a dirty mind! That should be CLOCK in the toilet – we want to know if people think a clock in the toilet would be helpful. Thank goodness you spotted that mistake, otherwise, think of how silly the agenda would look!