DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

You say you've got a girlfriend,
Who can drink more beer than you.

You like the way she's not fussed,

That each thing you say is true.

You haven't slept together;

You think she's 'respectable'.

And you admire the way,

She leaves fist marks on a wall.

She drives better than you do,

Though you'd not dare tell her so.

And if one of her nails break,

She just shrugs, "Oh, it'll grow."

You think you've got a girlfriend,

Whose makeup looks quite a mess.

But you don't have a girlfriend;

You've got a bloke in a dress.

Around 2004