IFS AND BUT

If you were a throat lozenge,
I could suck you as you soothe.
If you were a bicycle,
I could ride you as you move.

If you were a comfy chair,
I’d sit on you all evening.
If you were a tambourine,
I’d give you a good shaking.

If you were a bar of soap,
I could make you slippery.
But just because you’re human,
Do not think that will stop me.