THE MENU WON'T DO

“Are you ready to order, sir?”

“I fancy a tuna omelette.”

“Someone had that two days ago.
Their stomach’s still not over it.”

“Oh dear. How about a salad?”

“The lettuce leaves went dark and wet,
And the cucumber’s gone squishy.”

“Then how about a cheese baguette?”

“We currently have no baguettes.”

“You what? OK, tomato soup?”

“The bowls for soup got smashed last night,
By someone with a hula hoop.”

“Do you want to take my order,
Or would you rather take the mick?”

“Be hungry but don’t be angry.
Anyway, some staff are off sick.”

“Is there anything I can have,
On this menu that seems silly?”

“Sure, if you look on the back…”

“Yes...?”

“You will see there’s an old, squashed pea.”

7 November 2008