UTTERLY

You are completely, unquestionably,
Absolutely, really, undoubtedly,
Thoroughly, certainly, no ifs or buts;
You can bet your ass; you're utterly nuts.

You can join the club, you won't get a lot;
Just confirmation of how sane you're not.
I was in the club, but I left, gladly;
For the members weren't nuts enough for me.