JUDGEMENT DAY

Hi, my name is Elsie. And I am dead. Don't be shocked, I've been dead and buried for over a century. What may shock you, though, is the following story:

It all started when I was out in my back garden, reading the latest Jacqueline Wilson I'd picked up in Waterstone's the day before. It was a blazing hot day, and after ten minutes of reading I neded a drink. As I stood up, a knife came from nowhere, and whizzed into my heart. And that's how I died.
Everything suddenly went black, and then I saw a bright white light, and sort of happy music in the distance. And then, I saw a pair of big curly gates, and a man weraring white robes sitting at a desk. I sauntered over to him, and asked him where I was.
"You are in the Hall Of Judgement. I am Sir Peter. You are dead.2
"Wh-What?"
"Stone cold, I'm afraid. Now let's see," - "he took out a large book and leafed through it. - "You are Elsie Wright, and you was stabbed by a heart. Now, it says here you've done ten good things, but also ten bad things in your life. We don't know whether to send you to Heaven or to Hell, so, we'll send you back to Earth to do one more thing. If it's good, you'll go to Heaven, but, if it's bad, you'll go to Hell."
And then, without warning, I was back in my back garden.
I looked over, and saw my little sister, Eliza, standing over by the tree, and shouting out that her little kitten, Garfield, was stuck in a tree. Without knowing why, I climbed up the tree, and got Garfield down.
Eliza didn't know I was there. She just saw Garfield clamber down by himself. She went running in the house, shouting: "Don't worry, Mum. Garfield's down, he climbed down all by himself!"
I felt happy, and then, I was back in front of the curly gates and Sir Peter.
"You have done eleven good dees and ten bad deeds in your lifetime, so now, you are admitted into Heaven." The gates opened.
I don't know what made me do it, I suddenly felt so alive! I pulled down my pants and pulled a mooney at down below, saying: "Ha ha! You can't have me, Hell!"
As I pulled my pants up, flames started rolling all around me, and sir Peter looked angrily at me.
"We do not like people who pull moonies!" He bellowed. "You belong in Hell!"

And ever since that day, I've been sleeping with maggots in my bed, and demons poking my ass with pitchforks, taunting me to pull a mooney...

The End by Charlene Samm