In despair I ate all our tiger prawns

In despair I ate all our tiger prawns last night.
They were meant for the mini blinis,
meant to have lain bright orangely rigid
on a soft silken, glistening bed of
chive infested soured cream,
underpinned by the cushioned comfort
of blinis. Which now sit forlorn
and abandoned in my fridge.
That's how I felt. I felt like a lonesome
abandoned blini in a cold, cold fridge.
Because you didn't turn up
to your birthday meal last night
as I planned it.

I'd shopped, you see, for a feast.
I'd not slept all night before,
in excitement of the day to come.
I'd dreamed to please, and not slept
because I was dreaming.
I was up, when the moon went down,
way before shop opening hours.
Dressed, save-the-Earth reusable bag
ready, willing and able to embrace goodies.
But you didn't come. So...

In despair I ate all our smoked salmon.
Which had also meant
to have slept on blinis. With caviar.
And I sucked the lemon wedges dry
till I puckered at my seams
which were unravelling by each doleful
mouthful, minute and hour that I waited...
I looked at the blinis, bland and naked
and wept at their demise.
Poor unwanted, useless blinis!
And poor caviar. Each ovule
a sad, unrealised dream
of becoming, an unrequited,
fishy unbirth. So...

In despair I ate all our cheese selection.
Organic Brie. Ash-middled Morbier.
A large lump of Stinking Bishop.
Followed by a gobful of Wensleydale.
Lactose intolerance ensued.
Oh. Oh. Oh. So...

In despair I ate all our chocolate truffles.
One by one, they popped uninvited into my mouth,
as though on autopilot.
I mixed Irish Cream with the Black Cherry Liqueur.
The Wensleydale not far below protested.
Then Coffee Cream had a violent altercation
with resurgent oaked smoked salmon.
But I put Strawberry Ganache to the test
to shut everybody up.
Especially the roar of that final tiger prawn. So...

In despair I ate your entire party feast.
What do you think of that, Mr Dictator
of all my loose (hic!) lost emotions?
I've given Lumpen Proletariat
a whole new meaning.
Happy Birthday to you.