I hate it

I hate the way
that all my thoughts
seem to say
the exact opposite
of my heart,
and then those bad thoughts
are all I can think
and I can't feel
what's true,
I really don't
doubt you.

I hate myself,
there's just no need,
when your here I'm so sure
but as soon as you
walk out the front door,
fear sets in,
and all the paranoia begins.

Surely it's a burden
when I stop you resting
before something important,
or make you worry
with stupid,
stupid thoughts
that I really don't need,
I shouldn't feel threaten
by other guys
and I shouldn't disbelieve,
but I do
and I hate it,
and soon you'll hate it too.