The worst feeling

By andrew-evans

Sun, 10 Mar 2013
  • 510 reads
1 comments
 

have you ever had that feeling,
where you're numb
but in so much pain?
where you can hardly breath, are on the brink of a panic attack?
where you can't sleep
so you just stay up listening,
to the person you love
talk to the person they're falling for,
trying to work out where you stand,
if you're part of their life any more
or if they've show you the door,
or atleast pushed you half way out.
never a doubt you had
that you and her were meant to be
and that you'd always be,
but got too comfortable you see,
and now she feels like you anit trying,
which leaves you dying inside,
like you've been stab in the heart
and all you have to fix it
is a pritt stick.
this is probably the worst
feeling i know.

Certificate 12
Poem
The Dark Times
Love

Comments

Submitted by steve_elliott04 on
I agree with Stan. You have a great sense of rhythm which drives the piece onward; and that rhyme is sublime. I did note the line 'where you can hardly breath but are on the brink of a panic attack?' I may be reading this wrong, but difficulty breathing is a symptom of a panic attack, so this line threw me a little in the flow of things. Having said that, I would simply take the 'but' out and add a comma for an easy fix. Otherwise, a well written, thoroughly enjoyable piece! Steve.