Four Legged Mary

Four legged Mary was kidnapped by fairies,

they taught her to dance,

but didn’t enhance her, no way.

Hairy old Mary was not so much scary

as wary and lairy

to the lads of the land.

Despite being peculiar,

they all vied to woo her,

such was the glamour

the Fair Folk bestowed.

For Mary’s six limbs

were incredible things,

given as gifts by

the sarcastic elves.

They allowed her to dance

as if in a trance,

and lead a stampede

all by herself.

Mary, four footed,

was cute but no beauty,

in ceilidh and dance hall

a presence renowned.

When she grabbed you by chance

or kicked your ripe arse,

it was a thing not forgotten,

the talk of the town.

She danced on the heads

of the brave and the dead,

so fierce and so lithe,

Four legged Mary,

queen of the night.