Bound

By Ann-Marie37

Tue, 06 Jan 2009

657 reads

3 comments

Dare I move
Try to break the bonds that you have caused me to wear
You emotions freeze my muscles
Forever a prisoner of your dark oppressive moods

Bound hand and foot by your dark tirades
Your dark coils of neediness
Your transparent tendrils that cut into my flesh
They burn and bite like living things

Unbind me
Free me
Allow me to breath
Cease your feeding

You stand there happy and triumphant
Knowing you are in charge
But wait for the rub
For soon I will be gone
For death in any form causes freedom of the soul

And soon I will be yours no more
Soon the air will be unfetted by your breath
And I will dance again in the sunlight
And you will shrivel up like a slug that’s been salted

And I will be
I will be
I will
I

Comments

You will! You must believe

Permalink Submitted by yrene on Tue, 2009-01-06 12:59

You will! You must believe in you! You can believe in you! *You are believing in you* (^_^) best regards, yReNe

(^_^)
best regards,
yReNe

Think you mean 'your' in

Permalink Submitted by jennifer on Tue, 2009-01-06 15:07

Think you mean 'your' in stanza one. Stanza two - repetition of 'dark' grates...can you find another word? Stanza three - 'breathe' 'unfettered' I love the slug simile... but think a little punctuation would improve, this feels a bit...loose. J x

I too love the slug similie

Permalink Submitted by tcook on Thu, 2009-01-08 13:10

I too love the slug similie - but think you mean 'unfettered' by your breath. Not sure that is the right word - as to be fettered is to be chained - do you mean that his breath chains you? Could be. I like this - but it needs some work.