Another Tuesday Night

There are times in your life where you stand back, look at yourself and your actions and wonder how you got to this point. That moment is happening to me right now. I’ve been standing in the same position with my back to this crowd for a while now and I can’t figure out how to turn around and address them. This may seem to you like a simple endeavor. I should just be able to turn around and speak a few words, smile, and then as abruptly as I came to the stage, exit.

Not today. Not in my case. I have been standing here for nearly forty minutes with my back to a growing crowd. I’m sure there are cell phones blazing, with people calling their friends to tell them to come down to the playhouse to see this wild ape of a woman who is just standing here in the center of the stage with her ass perked out for all to see.

Now you’re probably assuming that I am some kind of neurotic woman who has remarkable stage fright. On the contrary, I generally am a well mannered woman when I step onto stage. I am usually very impressive with my discourse and I conduct myself in an elegant manner, or so says the Midnight Midtown Press, the MMP.

I’m sure you’re also wondering why I mentioned that my "ass is perked out for all to see." Well, this might be complicated to admit and explain but here is my best attempt. The growing crowd that is on the other side of my ass is a group of the city’s most cultured, most intelligent perverts. Ugh, who am I kidding? They are just regular run-of-the-mill perverts. The kind of people you see when you’re casually looking into those sex shops on Marcus Street and witness someone trying on chain getups and leather masks with tiny slits for eye holes. These are the same people who immediately think sex when they see a woman with chubby fingers and/or a high resolution camera with a telephoto lens. I suppose most of that really smutty smut on the internet is made for and by this group of people behind me.

Back to my ass. Now, my back is facing this crowd with my ass perked out. As you are probably guessing this is a group of voyeurs behind me. They are seeing me in one of my favorite outfits - a dress that hits right above my knee. It has simple cotton spaghetti straps which connect to the leather corset which connects to the loose cotton skirt. It’s a really simple red dress - honest! Now, from their angle, I’m sure they aren’t seeing much of my dress anyway. I stand about 6’1" and I am mostly legs. I like to run so my legs have developed into tree trunks. I’ve been considered beautiful by many but today it really isn’t much about what my face looks like.

Anyway, my ass. It’s faced to this pretty mixed crowd of men and women which you would probably not suspect from the topic of this viewing. The Midnight Midtown Press (the MMP if you prefer) has been scheduling me for these discussions, demonstrations and seminars for a while now. It’s generally a pretty insightful affair that focuses on all things sexual in nature. Nothing is spared from discussion. The crowd is usually really understanding, open and highly "interested" in the subject matter. There is usually a certain period of time during these events to experiment and try out what was explained. It oftentimes turns into a pseudo-swingers club. The happenings and the subject matter are never things too past my comfort zone. I suppose that was true until today.

Ah yes! There it is. That must be the real reason am I stuck in this position. I have let my comfort zone...by leaps and bounds! Now please understand, my comfort zone is a pretty encompassing thing. There isn’t much that frightens me or causes me to jerk back and say "EW!" or "No way!" I’m generally a pretty open individual, willing to try lots of new things. I’ve tried many things sexually and I thought I knew what my body could handle physically. Apparently, as evidenced by my forty minute awkward stance, that this no longer is true.

To elaborate, I stand before this mob of onlookers - the Tuesday night voyeur crowd at the Burlington Playhouse in Monroe City at approximately 2:13AM - with my ass perked out from beneath my red skirt... with something lodged inside my ass.

Now, I’m sure you’re gasping. Or better yet, if you’re like me and my "friends" you’re wondering what it is and how on earth did I get it in there? If you’re gasping, I’m surprised you read this far. It's not complicated to get it in there. Oh no no! The complication arises in getting it out!

All I am going to say is tonight is the Tuesday night Voyeur event and the discussion is vegetables.