Before Sleep

Thoughts made from the corners of your lips hang in the somber, midnight air, drenching me in blanket of curious surprise. I startle awake and listen, unsure of what I thought I heard. I hang on the edge of my proverbial seat, anticipating the next words. With lips pursed, I wait in the bitter darkness.

Again you speak, breaking the silence of our bedroom. It begins as simple murmurs that are nothing more than my name uttered repeatedly. Basking in relief, I smile and roll over. That’s when the true words come flowing out. They’re spoken so clearly and absolute that I question whether or not you’re actually asleep. You toss and turn away from me, kicking the sheets away.

You utter words of betrayal and deceit. They flutter around the safe confines of our bedroom and nestle heavy on my chest like a weighted balloon. I lose my breath, I’m struck absolutely motionless. On and on, you babble the names of people you’ve met, places you’ve visited, the things you’ve seen…and done… I wince at the images that are being created in my mind.

Eventually, you fall back into the deepest of sleeps, snoring happily as if this minor lapse didn’t even occur. I am left frozen, thoughtless, drained…a cadaver. My heart slams heavily in my chest. With eyes wide and mouth agape, I stare at the popcorn ceiling.