Disintigration in the Hallway*

Her back slides down the painted hall-wall. Knees giving way and
tears beginning to flow in silent, desperate rivulets. Distress takes
muscle; liquefies it. Her body collapses in on itself.

Chin quavers.

Eyes blur.

Face reddens.

- Don't leave, she says in a whispering, pleading exhalation. Her tears
continue to cascade down her face. Muddy tracks of despair etch into
her fragile features.

- I have to.

- No!

- We need time. He cannot think with her like this. His strength and
resolve of moments ago begin to melt away; like sand washed away by the
tide of her tears.

- We have no time.

Her voice breaks. Tongue moist. Swollen. Useless. An endless stream of
tears pours on as she begins to pound her head against the wall with
autistic repetition.

- No? no? no? with each knock on the wall.

- You can keep the furniture if you want?I want nothing.

- No?no?no?

- LISTEN! He cannot, will not, let it be like this.

- No no no no no?

- This is the best thing. He tries to reason. His own voice now
beginning to melt and crack.

- FUCK OFF.

- Come on?we can still be friends.

- LEAVE!

- Come on? Things turn. Rejection switches. He is surprised at how
quickly the scene has changed. He is torn by two visions. The first of
himself, alone, doing all the things he has always planned with no ties
and no problems. The other, of himself, alone, in a one bedroom flat
with no-one to care for him, eating tinned food straight out of the tin
and watching too much television.

- Is that what you want?

- Do you care?

- Of course.

- Then why leave.

- We have nothing in common?We are growing apart. As he says this he
thinks, clich?s seem to be the only useful things to say sometimes. He
guesses that this is why they become clich?s.

Her tears bring sympathy. His sympathy slowly brings attraction. The
man leans forward. He grabs the back of her head to stop the desperate
tattoo on wall.

- We'll try.

He leans in and kisses her deeply. Her mouth is salty. Teary. Wet. He
thinks that kisses have an added mystery when preceded by tears. He
also thinks that he may have made another mistake.

ad infinitum?

* Previously published in Lexicon (1997), Noise! (1997) &;amp; Free
XpresSion (1997)