Do Sharks Have Knees?

The first time I saw her again was at the twin’s shindig. I’m not sure I can get away with calling it a shindig as the phrase is defined as “a large, lively party”, ill go for gathering. The twin’s had opted for a high school clique theme. My interpretation of their choice was so girls would come dressed as cheerleaders, I wasn’t complaining.
As I walked into the kitchen, silence graced the room. It felt like everyone’s eyes were suddenly fixated on my awkward shuffle into the occasion. I had only ever felt worse once before. When I missed a penalty during halftime at a Fulham v Aston Villa match. I had won my league with Hackney town and to put the cherry on the cake we got to partake in a penalty shootout at a premiership game. It was every kids dream to play on a premier league pitch and I thought as soon as they see my talents ill be signed in days and on 6 figures in a few years. Unfortunately for me I hadn’t imagined the sheer nerves that await a 12-year-old boy with 30,000 fans chanting. I suddenly regretted the magnanimous decision to go first and got so nervous I lashed at the ball, slipped on the wet grass and as I trudged off the pitch to the sound of boos, I hoped no one was noticing the wet drizzle down my leg. I’m sure they probably did.
4 years later and I waited for the taunts to haunt me in the kitchen, but was only greeted by a solemn 3-piece math’s set.
Alicia and her friends had decided upon math’s nerds as their clique. Harriet a ruler, Anna a compass and she was dressed as a protractor.
I tried to speak but the desert that had suddenly covered my mouth was preventing any words from leaving.
I wanted to make a joke to ease the situation; “lets get straight to the point, that’s your best angle” popped into my head. Even if I had the ability to communicate I’m not sure the costume-based joke would have been received to well. I’ve always been quite confident with girls, not enough to say I canonized them, but here I was speechless being intimidated by 3 math’s tools; I felt any social respect id built up in this troubled adolescence was slowly fading. I don’t think I’m exactly Greece lightning in the social world. The fact I’m using Greece as an example backs up the opinion that I’m not the most up to date kid there is.
I hadn’t given up on being someone people looked up to though and as Thomas Edison said, “I haven’t failed, just found 10,000 ways that don’t work”.
I finally managed to liquidate my mouth to the extent words could escape the wasteland that had accompanied it, and all I could muster was

“You went for the geeky option then?” Nervously shuffling my feet as I said it, like a child who is being told off.
“Oh do you see me as more of a cheerleader type? I’m sure that’s what she would have dressed as!” Only 30 seconds into the conversation and she’s already bringing it up, didn’t she realize how guilty I felt?
I have always capitalized on having a fast metabolism to the full extent but hadn’t been able to stomach any food for days due to the culpability and remorse that shrouded my conscience.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it in that way, it suits you”
“So now you’re calling me a geek?”
I realized I was fighting a losing battle, I felt like a salmon with a broken fin struggling to swim up stream. The situation was made worse as I looked over to see John a boy that had been in love with her since year 7 staring at me with a maniacal grin on his face.
“I just meant you look remarkably striking even dressed like a math’s nerd” Anna and Harriet grimaced at what seemed like the finest artificial cheese emanating from my mouth, but I was being serious, and I think she understood that. I saw a twitch that could have been a contained smile under the stern look on her face.
This felt like a good time to swiftly exit the conversation and as I did I tried to conceal the sadness at how this situation, it seemed might just be beyond repair.