Dog walking with Van Morrison

By anipani

Sun, 11 May 2008
  • 2305 reads
8 comments
 

Winter sun; blinding,high,
reveals night-shift silk
spun and caught in carpet
of crisp Autumn fall.
Van's vision,and
I'm feeling his sense of wonder.
The dog shares ecstatic
suspended moments,
appreciating too the master's
fiery vision bright;
and misses a squirrel
fancying it's chances,
one too nonchalent
to care , sensing engagement
elsewhere.
Pete's seen squirrels before;
he'll see them again.
What matters is the now,
nose down in
unmentionable odours
too potent to ignore.

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Comments

Submitted by onemorething on
Liked 'night-shift silk'. Last four lines are very good. A couple of ideas though - maybe an alternative for the first 'bright'? And who is fancying their chances - the squirrel or if it's the dog what are the chances he's fancying? - this may be just me though and how I read it! :)

 

Submitted by anipani on
thanks for that, i have edited, after reading your helpful comments.

anipani

Submitted by onemorething on
Because I am naturally curious...some may have a different name for it...I took a look at the original. Hope you don't mind. And also....hope you don't mind me asking, but why did you cut these lines?: The copse is nearly bare, the elders of the trees leaning, catching the whispers of the stream running unseen, underneath the earth. Younger trees ,prouder, luxuriate in their ability to aim for the sky- sweet arrogance of youth . I loved these lines. I like the current changes, was wondering if there was any way of working these back in???? Sorry if I have overstepped the commenting mark!! :)

 

Submitted by anipani on
lovely cmments , and no you aren't overstepping, as if! I only wanted to pare it down a little, and thought it was a bit rambly, i could incorporate those lines into a different new poem. i will look at this issue, and reconsider, so thanks. i am struggling to write new stuff at minute, all words seem superfluous, that's wh i love it when i read something like yours, that reminds me it can be done, not everything has been said. too tense to write i think, need some head room!anyway that's why i am re reading old stuff, and stripping them down. to the bone!take care,

anipani

Submitted by blackjack-davey on
I've got to agree with Doeslittle. The edited lines from her post are lovely, it's sinuous nature writing. Was there a tonal clash with the rest of the poem? I think possibly yes. The poem as posted above suggests a more prosaic mood, a concentrated relationship with dog and an immersion in the canine world. The waving elders sound a different register Thanks for comments on TIME-FLIES! 'I find myself searching for the REAL thing And I don't know who I'll be hurtin'...'

 

Submitted by scoot on
Was the tie in Van's "Beautiful Vision"? I think the song when I read this and it enriches it for me, even more. The hypnotic guitar. Mystical rapture. Being in the moment. Love the poem. Dog walkers have many opportunities for spiritual expansion! Karen

Submitted by anipani on
I would say you're right, and yet not completely. I live with his songs in my heart all the days, 'Beautiful Vision' has many of these moments, and 'Sense of Wonder'. I love the music, and the mind, have been in awe since I first heard him.

anipani

Submitted by scoot on
My sister has Veedon Fleece, i heard it when i was in canada a couple of years ago. this reminds me i was going to add it to our collection. I would have to say one of my favourites is "She gives me religion." But there are too many to fix on just one!