Interview with a Yoghurt...

INTERVIEW WITH A YOGHURT...

I recently had the great pleasure of interviewing Mr.H.J.Yoghurt and I
am pleased to be able to include a
transcript of this event here on ABCTALES.com...

The Interview!

It's 6.30 in the region,and I'd like to introduce my special
guest,
Mr.Humphrey J. Yoghurt.

INT: It's a pleasure to meet you at last...

HJY: Well,it's good to be here...such a wonderful garden you
have...

INT: It's only a mirage,I'm afraid,Humphrey.

HJY:Water...for pity's sake,WATER!

INT:Ha ha! You have quite a reputation as a mentally unstable
playboy
type,and you have been out of work for most of your life,can you
explain how
you've managed to keep your head above water all this time?

HJY: Water..? To be frank,I've stolen,swindled and pilfered and soon I
will
have enough saved to change my name,and then I will be Frank
forever.

INT: Indeed. You bring me out in hives,as you know,when did you first
start
emitting spores?

HJY: Ah,well that would be around the time I was breaking in my
celtic
houseboy,Idris. Fungal infections were ten a penny in those days,and I
got my
money's worth.

INT: Moving swiftly on,I have been reading though your website and it
strikes
me that you are some sort of self opinionated cyberslug on powerful
mind
altering drugs,why do you bother getting up in the mornings?

HJY: You smooth talking son of a lady! I have lived a full life,and I
have
travelled extensively in the Lewisham area,so I'm only too happy to
share a
little of my deeply unpleasant life with you lovely people. Many of my
opinions
may be controversial,and people may not agree with everything I
say,but
that's their problem... I am right 95\% of the time!

INT:And the remaining 5\% of the time?

HJY: 7\%! During this brief period,I am sleeping and mumbling
incoherently!

INT:And what of the next 20 years?

HJY: I have no plans,I don't want the crushing disappointment that
dogs
both mice and men. I will continue off course,until I am stopped by
the
universal crash barrier of our mortality...

INT: Thank you,Humphrey for being my guest today,and for speaking
so
candidly.

HJY: WATER!

INT: WATER!