J - The Joys of Burgeoning

My waistline is burgeoning.
I don't give a hoot.
I'll binge and I'll bulge as much as I like.
My encroaching layer of tummy flab
grows softer, more cuddly,
folding over the top of my defenceless pants.
My skirt's too uncomfortable, straining all around.
(I release the button at work when the boss's not looking).
The thing they don't realise those who gossip 'bout me,
is that I like all this expanding and bingeing and bulging.
Burgeoning really is a bit of alright for me.
My hobby's writing stories to keep me amused.
I used to suffer from inspiration stalemate, no more!
I just gobble a few French fancies, some cheese, a glass of wine or two
or three.
And the more that I gobble the more the letters come out.
They start coming at me randomly - an "a", a "k", an "e", a "c",
then zoom all out of control running around in my head.
Forming words and sentences of their own accord -
paragraphs, pages and chapters - not just all in a muddle,
but elegant, comprehensive, quality prose!
Cup cakes and Mars bars, fried egg sandwiches and jam.
This is my mystery creativity plan.
My novel is flourishing full of fresh zesty new ideas.
So come fellow writers, get ye to the kitchen,
The true joys of burgeoning await you my Dears.