J. Two roads same place

Two Roads Same Place

The soup run down the side of her cheek and I waited for it to drip off
her chin, I scooped it with the spoon, the same spoon, I had this thing
about all Grans stuff, it should be kept separate the sink in the
kitchen was a double one and one side of it was hers, for her cups and
stuff. I know its not catching (or is it? I don't know) well it just
gave me the creeps anyway. I used to love her but after two years of
cleaning her wiping her trying to feed her, cleaning out her sick
bucket it can do things to you, you know.

That tap on the floor when she wanted something would cut right through
me, but like a faithful dog I would go only to find her sleeping. God I
hate her now and I wish her dead, let me go, I need sleep peace and my
life back. But she was like a monster in a film she kept coming back
just when it was down it would open its eyes and say "soup soup" Then
it would start again I would wipe more off her chin, than, went
down
Her wrinkly old neck (I used to love her I really did) Christmas was so
good here now it's the worst day of the year, still she might be dead
before then, still two weeks yet.

YES she might be dead before then and all this will be mine this big
house the cars the money the whole lot, I mean there's only me left.
Then I will have one mother of a party and invite my self. Do people
who care end up not caring in the end? I'm sure they do, I seem to care
more about my self then Gran these days.

Oh well better get some shopping, rubber gloves top of the list well
brandy was top but I won't admit I have a problem with it, well it gets
me through the day, I don't leave the house or grounds, it all gets
delivered here from the old shop in the village, just a phone call
away,

Sometimes I would sit in the boat shed by the boating lake and listen
to the gentle slap of the water in side the shed and watch the gentle
rock of the boat.
Sometimes I could hear Jake calling from the water "join me join me
Jack it so nice down here" Jake was my twin Brother but he was lost one
summer on the lake twenty years a go.
But this boat shed kept another secret for me, this is the place where
I kept Gramps old 12 bore shot gun and a fresh pack of shells, Gramp
loved to shoot poor little animals I always hated him for that, I could
never see the pleasure in it.

I think to day is the day to end all of this shit its gone on for long
enough.
Jack took the gun from under an old boat cover and set off back to the
house.
He climbed the stairs gun loaded and ready, he burst in to the room
ready to end it all for Gran but jacks face dropped as he took his aim,
he put the gun down and felt her wrist for a pulse she had gone it was
over.

Jack picked up the gun and another bottle of brandy and set off to the
boating shed.
Jake was still there. But I could see him now he was sitting on the
boat he looked the same he even had the same shirt on, he smiled and I
could see that old chipped tooth.

I boarded the boat and we started to drift out on to the lake. The rain
was starting to come down at a fair pace, I took a swig of brandy it
burned as I swallowed it
"did it burn you Jack" Jake said. "Yes it did" "well remember when it
stops burning Jack your dead" "What do you mean Jake" " You know what I
mean"Jake was taking on a more sinister form I stood up ans fell
backwards, Jake faded away as I passsed out.

I woke nursing a lump on the side of my head, I could hear birds
singing, I never quite had my bearings, the boat had drifted into some
reeds far across the other side of the lake, I took a deep breath,
dropped the brandy bottle into the lake, I had a funeral to
arrange.
I did love her.

Muzzy starr.