The Jacqui Oatley Blues

(with apologies and a courteous nod to the great Gil Scott Heron)

It was your choice to stay home, brother.
You plugged in, turned on, copped out.
You thought you’d lost yourself in Marlboro and Bud,
Hey, bring me another beer, love,
Because the revolution was being televised.

Where were you on the school run drag,
on the just want to talk about, walk about,
talk around time in the town? The revolution
sounded its ringtone sound, taking its lead
from the positive charge, headed by Anna
Ford, Karren Brady and Gabby Logan to put
lip gloss on the glass edge in the alpha-male sanctuary,
The revolution has just been televised.

The revolution was not brought to you by
Motson and Bassett and did not star the ghosts
of the working men’s clubs and committees
of sandwiches, brown ale and fags that marked
the green baize, then scorched the lungs.
The revolution did not get rid of the feeling
of loss or the motorway dreams,
The revolution has just been televised.

The revolution did not make you shed
that couple of stone, did not make your hair
thicker, your lair cleaner, your child brighter.
The revolution did not make you more attractive
to women, a better son, a better lover,
did not give you a sweet left foot.
The revolution has just been televised.

There were no pictures of the sisters
striding down Wembley Way, round Soho Square.
There was no call to arms, no burning of bras,
no faraway look in your missus’s eye,
no protest group formed by Doug from the Kings,
no resignations, no out-brothers-out.
The revolution has just been televised.

The revolution will not fade to black after the late night repeats.
The revolution will not taste better with HP, will not
come in a tin that says what it does, will not put
lead in your pencil or horses in your tank,
will not probably be the best revolution in the world.
The revolution will not Just Do It.
The revolution has just been televised.

Lineker, Hansen, Lee Dixon and team,
The revolution has just been televised.
Lineker, Hansen, Lee Dixon and team,
The revolution has just been televised.
The revolution has just
been televised.