Lazy Days

I can't sit still, my mind clicks in,
I need action, keep going or my emotional thoughts will begin.
All the memories I try to forget,
Hidden. Locked at the back. Banished from my head.
Lazy days. Lead on depression.
Nothing to do, too much spare affection.

Things to be cared for but
no one to help me.
Life
lacking
sensation.
No excitement.
I care for all, keeps the brain going.
Stops the thoughts 'wasted what-ifs',
Never ending list of if-onlys.

Keep busy keep ticking don't stop don't pause. No love to give,
too much love lacking,
Lonely,
longing.
Wistful.
Lazy days, nothing to do, Quick quick
keep going, the brain starts to chew,
Remembering this, remembering that,
Longing for him, my dear.........

Lazy days, desperate.
Depression sets in.