The Merest Moment

By Bradene

Tue, 09 Dec 2008

1181 reads

3 comments

~~~

Shadows dance around my head
Of things that used to be
Of someone I truly loved
Who meant so much to me.

Emotions I once deeply felt
Flicker through my heart
Pleasurable pain returns
To tear my soul apart.

Whispers ricochet down the years
Chatter urgently in my mind
Recite all those lover’s words
And promises he left behind.

This night is soft and silent
As when he made his vow
To love me forever
What price forever now?

Yet tonight in the stillness
I awoke and it’s way back then
Just for the merest moment
We are together once again.

Comments

'Whispers ricochet down the

Permalink Submitted by jennifer on Tue, 2008-12-09 21:07

'Whispers ricochet down the years' is my favourite line in this rare thing - a proper rhyming poem, great rhythm too! Although 'I awoke and it’s way back then' dosn't quite scan for me.. J x

Thanks for commenting

Permalink Submitted by Bradene on Sat, 2008-12-13 10:25

Thanks for commenting Jennifer. Happy you liked it, any ideas about that line? I would be grateful Val x

'Time rolls backwards

Permalink Submitted by jennifer on Sat, 2008-12-13 18:03

'Time rolls backwards again'? 'I awoke as I did then'? or 'I awoke as I was then' or you could bravely change the last line too and make a whole new rhyme? Tricky! J x