Mick alarm...

You know,dear reader,that I do not get out of bed for less than
?10,000,but
in slightly leaner times,I could not afford to be so fussy...

The story begins...

It was when I was living in New Cross,S.E. London,I had a very modest
flat
above a furniture shop,which was like some sort of cockroach
racetrack
with a fungus flower garden. It was not a lonely existance as the
building
was regularly invaded by bailiffs and burglars,but it was home and
warmer
than a park bench... having no job meant that time was pretty fluid so
my
life style was "Late to bed,late to rise...making me unhealthy,not
wealthy
nor wise." I always had breakfast for lunch,and that suited me
just
fine...until the advent of what became known as the "Mick Alarm!"

The what..?

My 'next door neighbours' were two frazzled and ancient
alcoholics,with
livers the size of armchairs,one of whom owned their flat,and the other
being
a "Tolerated guest..." The guest was a hardened street drinker,and
would
disappear for days,having who knows what kind of alcohol fuelled
adventures,but back in New Cross,all was peace and quiet...

One morning,at the stupidly early hour of nine,I became aware of a kind
of
barking noise in my sleep..."Bugger off!",I suggested to the irritating
dog
that was ruining my dream...but it continued to make it's presence
felt...
"Mick! Mick! Mick!",said the dog... "Mick?",but surely dogs say
"WOOF!" I slowly began to realise that the "dog" was down in the
street
and directly beneath my window!

Cor,lumme! What happened next???

It turned out to be the tolerated guest,yelling with monotonous
regularity to
his host... "Mick! Mick! Mick!" I gazed at his broken face,observing
his six
lonely teeth as they clashed together as his mantra continued...
"Mick!
Mick! Mick!",and finally there was the chink of keys being tossed to
the
ground from the top window. This was the start of a DAILY Nine
O'Clock
wake up call... Every single bloody day and the only thing to silence
the
chant of "Mick!" was the thick tattooed arm of Mick himself tossing the
key
to his guest... All those early mornings played havoc with my lifestyle
and
there seemed nothing I could do about it. I even thought of installing
some
sort of "snooze button" by tossing a false set of keys to the
ground,ensuring
ten minutes of confusion for the "Mick Alarm",and a little extra sleep
for
me... I never got round to it though,and I moved out of that flat soon
after... I
hope the new tenant of my old hovel enjoys his daily and enfuriating
wake
up call...