Panic Song - August 17 2002

06.50 am I am listening to Insomniac again. I have fed the cats.
Outside there is a mist like you see in old Quatermass films.

Yesterday (16) I got up and fed the cats and again they were not too
fussed about what they had. I got up a lot later than I usually do
which is why I am so early today. I played the guitar for a while. I
seem to do the same old stuff day in day out.

My wife went for her morning run, so I messaged Erin. As today is Elvis
day, so far as my wife is concerned we were listening to Elvis Presley.
I have an album of a radio broadcast from a tour he did in Texas and it
is quite lively, with the guitar raw and loud. The announcer reeled off
a list of towns in Texas where Elvis was gigging, which went on for a
long time, ending with Gonzales, Texas.

My wife and I drove to Leigh and went in Ugos where she had a coffee,
and I had my latte and chicken baguette. Then she went to the shops and
I rang Erin but there was no reply. I went to Fives and picked up some
cheap CDs including one by the Smashing Pumpkins. Outside, I rang Erin
again, and got through and we chatted for a while. I also told her
about my new story, well, the second chapter. She said she wouldn't be
online tonight as she had a lot of stuff to read for the Faculty. Much
later I heard that maybe she had gone to a party that had been going on
for three days. I don't know why a party would last three days but it
must involve an awful lot of alcohol.

I went in Hippos and had a cup of tea before I walked home. I also
bought 3 pairs of shorts in the sale. I suppose now I have done this it
will be raining at Reading, and the field will resemble the Somme. I am
supposed to be sorting out arrangements with my niece at some stage,
but the festival is getting ever nearer.

I got in, changed into the shorts (one pair is a bit small, fine for
swimming tho) and played guitar. I got a good sound on the Bullet and
spent an hour playing.

Then my wife went to a Yoga class and I went online for a bit, then I
wrote the second chapter of my story, which deals with the villains in
my project. It's supposed to be a novel, but since I am crap at novels
we will have to see.

Kit was online, so I sent them the stories to keep them amused. I also
had a brief chat with D as well. Erin was not online. I had tea. Well a
steak sandwich.

Recently I havent been able to write poetry, something seems to be
missing, I have a good idea what, maybe it's because I am spending more
time writing prose. Or maybe it is because the love poetry I write
won't wash anymore. I like writing that sort of stuff though, as
relationships fascinate me, as does the dance that each participant
must perform in a relationship.

Erin's writing is very good, the characters are lifelike and I am
beginning to know them very well. I think it's important to have
characters that the reader can sympathise with or identify with or
relate to. This wins the reader's interest and then the author can take
the reader on a journey through their imagination. I think authors like
to have a character or two they base on themselves as it makes it
easier to write the character's reaction to a given situation based on
how the author would react. I want to see Erin's work published.

I was feeling a bit down late last night, so I re-read my second
chapter and it made me laugh, and that's good. I have tried to give my
character's something deeper to play with rather than being stock
characters. Anyway, last night was the night I decided to get drunk,
but I only had two pints of Stella and in the end so much else was
happening there wasn't much point. I think that's also important, that
whereas it's okay to get drunk at times, if something really important
is happening, then it all goes out the window.

I hope to go to the next Camden meet, and I will prolly have lemonade
again, as I prefer it to beer at times, especially when I am meeting
lots of new people. Plus it means I don't get drunk and throw up
everywhere, which also makes a difference.