Raincoat romeos...

Ok,let's look at flashers,probably the most stupid and embarrassing
of all
sex criminals! I am at a loss to understand the reason why these
raincoat
romeos feel the need to air their differences to women... However it
takes
alot of preperation to execute the perfect flash as my
researcher,Pat
Delgado has been finding out.

Pat Delgado reports.

When Microchrist asked me to do this,I admit I was a little
apprehensive,but in the interest of accurate reportage,I agreed
to give it a shot.

Flashing is alot more complex than,say, streaking. Firstly,I
need the uniform,as the flasher's dress code is very strict! I
used a pair of navy blue casual slacks which I cut off and then
elasticated at the knee. A sturdy white workshirt next which I
shortened to just above my tum. I then tried on my mac and
checked my reflection with all the buttons fastened. Perfect!
the model of respectability with only the giveaway draught to
remind me of my devilish purpose!

It did feel strangly liberating as I walked the streets bidding
a cheery "Good evening!" to people "tackle out" so to speak,and
I was looking forward to my first victim with great relish! As I
approached the "Wilfred Brambell memorial toilet",I felt my
nerves get to me a little,but on I went towards a rather
striking young woman walking her dog...

"What about this then?",I enquired throwing caution and coat to
the wind. "Not bad,but how about this?" she retorted producing a
warrant card and handcuffs... Great,my first ever flash and it
turns out to be a woman police officer!

Microchrist,you utter bastard,this is all your fault and when I
get
out I'm going to flay you alive! What on earth am I going to
tell the wife???

Thank you! Pat Delgado there! Embittered sex criminal currently
residing
at H.M.P. Parkhurst and reporting exclusively for ABCTales...