What's real, what's not

Laying there as usual hoping not to sleep,
Thinking of your fuck ups as the morning slowly creeps,
Listening to you snoring as I stare up at the cup,
And then I heard you begin to get up,

I heard you go into the bathroom,
And shut the bathroom door,
I even heard your footsteps,
As you walked across the floor,

Once again I thought 'No way',
Disappointed you were here,
Things would now go back to normal,
It all remains unclear,

I heard you start to run the taps,
Opened my eyes, woke up in a flash,
This must be real life,
I could still hear the taps,

Feeling very nervous this was so surreal,
The past 11months just flashed before me,
Everything back to normal it was all a long dream,
I felt like the normal fun loving G,

It was the most marvellous feeling in the world,
The next 11 months were yet to unfold,
Still only October and no making mistakes,
I won't have to make the Christmas cakes,

Then I guess I had fully woken up,
The thoughts and feelings that I had will never stop,
But that's Daddy in the bathroom,
Not the one I want,

That's when I realised you tricked me again,
The torture you play every night in my head,
Waking up making me think you're alive,
When I know the reality is that you're dead,

Grabbed hold of my quilt and covered my mouth,
Cried uncontrollably and gave out a shout,
Starting to boil and ready to pop,
That was when I suddenly woke up,

And what was it I heard,
As I gave myself a slap,
My dad in the bathroom,
Running the taps....