Old Age (Not)

Just because you think me old
doesn't mean I've lost the plot,
I have a wrinkle here and there
it isn't all I've got.
I've got my sense of humour
I've not lost my sense of fun,
at times I might forget you
and everything I've done.
I still like to go to parties
I can sing and do a jig,
I put on sexy spenders
and a dashing purple wig.
My clothes they may be dated
with sparkles here and there,
and if you think me silly
I don't really have a care.
I have a few admirers
there's Joe and Bill and Sam,
when they take me on a date
I go as mutton dressed as lamb.
My spectacles are orange
I still even drive a car,
and when it's time to go to bed
my teeth sit in a jar.
My belly button's pierced
I have a tattoo on my arm,
I wear flannelette pyjama's
that keep me nice and warm.
My hearing aid is faulty
I need a nice new hip,
and almost every afternoon
I have to have a kip.
I tried to ride a skateboard
down at the local park,
it was a silly thing to do
at night time in the dark.
I broke a leg and finger
when I crashed into a fence,
I didn't mean to hurt her
and I say in my defence.
she should have been more careful
what a time to walk the dog,
I wasn't going very fast
it's dangerous in the fog!
The ambulance man was very kind
he helped her with the pain,
and as I waved them out of sight
he said "don't do that again"!
My kids all think me crazy
but they're just as mad as me,
just wait until they're my age
I'm nearly ninety three.
They say they really love me
and wouldn't change a thing,
but they never come and see me
and hardly ever ring.
I suppose I should slow down a bit
and knit or crochet hats,
get a yellow canary
and maybe even cats.
The trouble is I like my life
and if the truth be told,
I always will be young at heart
even when I'm old.