The happy fool's apology

Your faith must be stronger than mine.
Light enthrals me, as if dusk were my home, while
darkness repels you, as if light were all you ever knew.
A moment's grace, a stranger's hand, and I forget about evil
At least that is what you think – that is what I used to believe.

You see me as a blithe innocent, getting high on one happy moment,
speaking flippantly of a whole year's misfortune,
But it is not as simple, it is more exquisite, it is sadder than that.
You shake your head and say, the world is mad.
Sometimes you add, man is evil.
And I shrug it off with a smile, and I empty my glass,
Drinking to celebrate not to forget,
And you envy my innocence, or you think me a fool.

But this is not the unsullied faith of a child,
Nor a young soul's cheerfulness.
You have such high hopes that everything appals you,
You want the world in colour, and its black hues repel you.
Then I understand
(Seeing what unites us
Seeing what keeps us apart)
That our souls watch each other and need each other
That each dreams both to convince and be converted.
Then I understand
My own antiquity and your tragic youthfulness.
Why is it I don't know, but
I'm resigned to darkness, I recognise evil, often I even expect it:
Perhaps my hopes are less.
But colour, and sweetness, and the stranger's hand
Are to me so many signs that the world is leavened with goodness.
I understand rain, and the rainbow sends me into raptures;
You just refuse to admit
That sometimes the sign of the Covenant eludes us
So each drop falling from an all-grey sky
You see as a betrayal from above, an infinite sarcasm.
You curse God,
In your humility;
I have forgiven Him,
In my joyous arrogance.