What it Means to Become Detached

“How well we know and understand our children is often a defining factor which can ultimately determine who they really become in later life.  How our children view the level of our attachment to and understanding of them, are often a defining factor which can ultimately determine who we really are as parents, at the most critical stages of our children’s lives…” Rob Pearldiver

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He’s sixteen; hormoniously ravaged and determined to get his way

whatever his way is, to us, seems to be a procession of left choices

but he believes he is cool, within the fickle heat of youthful uncertainties

and that alone, is worth so much...

His room has become his castle, his domain, his almost man cave

‘Keep Out’ appeared on the outside of his door in March last year

he has become a master of withdrawal and solitary endeavours

along with being able to open, enter and shut his door in one move

he seems to ignore the importance of family time these days

leaving us to reflect upon the last time we all shared a meal together.

He wanted to be a fireman when he was eight

so we brought him home a bed that resembles a fire engine

not just a normal fire engine; we got him one that they call a snorkel truck

the salesman told us that with this model, he could put out fires in high places

it even makes a siren noise whenever he moves around too energetically

and he can pull up his ladder whenever he wants to drive to fires.

We had wondered many times, if he might have grown out of his snorkel truck

given that he’s sixteen now, and maybe thinking about girls or other stuff

yet it seems our concerns were not necessary, as he obviously still dreams

of racing off at all hours of the night, to rescue people with his snorkel

in fact, we seem to hear his siren wailing out a lot more frequently these days.

There seems to be something very secretive developing in his life lately

unlike before, now he never wants to tell us about the fires he extinguishes.

Perhaps he’s struggling with becoming an adolescent and deep down

he’s feeling too embarrassed to let us see, that he’s really still a child…

* Words by Rob Pearldiver *

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