A Different Kind of Prayer

Lord, I am going to die soon, so I thought I'd talk to you again.
I do miss the times when I talked to you a lot, and that unique bond we had that no one else has.
I haven't matured much in 38 years.  Funny how that feels like 39.99 is way less than 40.
I am practically 40 years old, chronologically speaking.  (How is good ol Kronos btw)

The difference between you and the other gods that I spawn out of my imagination?  I don't talk to them.  I control them, what they do, what I want them to think.  You, I guess you feel like me... a wiser, older, more objective me. (Holy Spirit programming kicking in) -  a me that doesn't care for my personal, small desires, a me that sees the world in a different light. (or darkness, whichever seems appropriate for the moment)

Me, I'm still the immature little child that wants to have his way.  The innocent mind that still believes in magic.  Oh wait, you outlawed that. - orrr no really your devout priests did.  You really had nothing to do with that. - Except that you never said a thing against it.  But then again, who would?  At your level of perspective, I wouldn't.  I understand my place, and as insignificant as I am, I'm very grateful for the Holy Spirit programming.  It allows us to be with you regardless of how low our position is in this vast universe.

Thank you.  I love all the things you allowed me to see.  The beauty of the flawed mankind.  The art that is all of emotions swirling all around us - pain, suffering included.  Tapestry.  It is a beautiful world.  Constantly changing, dynamic, and so there are no regrets.

Then again, there is that off chance that the world we are destroying, is actually part of your body.  And that we are cancer eating away at the life of someone we love. - unknowingly.  As such, I'm terribly sorry.  I would like to know the truth, but I understand it will not be in this lifetime.  I have seen your magic at work, and to me, that is enough.  I want nothing else.  Thank you.

I want to talk to you again soon... hopefully before I go get reintegrated.