Otherplace

This is a section from a book I've been writing on and off for the last few years. Its similar to Alice in Wonderland in its overall storyline but is much, much weirder, if I do say so myself. Oh and sorry about the spelling, swearing and odd grammar...

The second I got home, I ran a nice hot bath. Lovely. There's nothing more relaxing then a steaming hot bath after a shit day at school.

I am walking along a path made of straw in a dull- really dull landscape. Besides the path, the only thing I can see is a twisted tree that's growing in the middle of a fork in the path. As I walk closer, I can see what looks like a face has been carved in the tree and its two branches look a bit like arms. And hanging off one of these branches is one of those creepy parrots I drew in my R.E book. When it saw me, it laughed so hard it fell off its perch and is hanging upside-down
“What's so funny?” I snapped.
Trying not to laugh, it squawked “your completely naked.”
Looking down at myself, I have just realized that I really am completely naked. And wet. I ran past the parrot towards a forest on the right side of the fork in the path, hopping there's something to cover myself with. Then the parrot flew of it's perch and followed me, along with a load of other parrots which seem to have come from nowhere.
“Oi retard! Have you left your cloves at home again?” squawked one.
“Or did you and your gay friends have a rough night?” squawked another.
“Couldn't you lot do something useful like, Oh I don't know, find me some clothes perhaps!” I shouted back, still running.
“Your mum!” several squawked back.

“Susan, dinners ready!” shouted mum, waking me up with a jump from my dream.
“What's for dinner?” I asked, sitting in my freezing cold bath.
“Shepard’s pie with gravy like soup, just the way you like it.”
“Love you mum!”
Drying myself off, I asked “Mind if I were my pyjamas?” I tired okay.
“No, your father is. Apparently he's had a pretty crappy day as well”
“Well, we'll have to find out who had a crappier day at dinner.”