The Chemotherapy Red Blues

Cherry

By Bee

Mon, 03 Aug 2015
  • 8371 reads
40 comments
 

Woke up this morning

my face was bright red

Like an embarrassed lobster

I tried burying my head

underneath the covers 

I hid in the deep,

but those steroids are buggers

won't allow you no sleep.



So I looked in the mirror

such a terrible mistake

No amount of caked on make up

wouldn't let me fake

any near resemblance 

to a natural Caucasian 

but lucky I weren't goin' nowhere 

for no special occasion. 



Then my bloke done come home

from a day of sweat and good hard toiling

Looked me in the face and said,

Man, you must be boiling.

Then he went straight to the fridge

and downed himself two beers

Never even noticed

that I had busted out in tears.



So I went down to the fish mongers 

and walked out with another man 

He said I looked just lovely

and fine the way I am

He held my hand so kindly

in a gentle pincer grip

and we drove down to the seaside

and took a skinny dip. 



We swam and we done swam 

till I weren't red no more

Then he looked me in the eye -

said he didn't like my new pallor 

I went home but my old bloke 

never noticed I'd been gone

Only asked me - 'What's for dinner -

and it better not be long.'



Now the moral of this story

is, if your man don't like you when you're red,

dump that insensitive monster -

find you an appreciative lobster instead

Then if he gets tired of you

as he will, more like as not

bring him back on home for dinner

and serve him steaming, 

I mean dripping - (forget his infernal screaming)

finger lickin' dreaming,

gleaming, red hot from the pot.



 

Certificate 12
Poem
Rant
Horror
Humour
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Canonette on

I love it, Bee. It's a surrealist rant!

 

Submitted by Bee on

Oh, thanks Canonette.

Bee

Submitted by Canonette on

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/96/44/c8/9644c894ccdf2462499c9...

 

Submitted by jeand on

HI Bee

This is great. I loved reading it. Glad to see you've kept your sense of humour - although I'm sure there is a small amount of truth underneath it all.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

There is truth, Jean. I look like a beetroot. So pleased you liked the humour though.

Bee

Submitted by rosaliekempthorne on

I like this.  The way it flows very easily, is easy to read, and has a bit of rhythm going for it.  Also, it's pretty funny.

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Rosalie. 

Im glad you liked it and found it funny. Thank you for the kind comments.

Bee

Submitted by london_calling79 on

Beautifully kept rhythm and loved the boiling at the end - so neat and so sweet!

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks so much, LC. The rhythm skips in and out in places coz I was going for a blues feel where they bung in some extra words here and there. I'm so happy you thought it worked. And also glad you liked the mad ending. 

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Big thanks for the cheery cherries!

x

Bee

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Brilliant!

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Philip.

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

I was interested in what you just said about blues rhythms and putting in bumpy bits, it's a skill, isn't it? Can be harder than being absolutely regular, like an asymmetric pattern being hard to do well, so it looks good. I suppose red is a change from the carrot orange you were anticipating at one time, but I hope you feel happier with your colour soon – better to laugh than cry about it? At least your bloke just thought you were a bit hot! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Red, orange, it's a lose, lose situation Rhiannon. Took my red face down the bank today and got some admiring glances - I think...

Fortunately my bloke don't really notice what colour I am. And you're right, you gotta laugh.

Thanks Rhiannon.

Bee

Submitted by VeraClark on

Have belly laughed at your unfortunate beetroot face. A very lifting ditty full of fabulous never the less blues.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Vera.

Beetroot face - spectacular side effect from the steroids (finished today on this round) but glad to have made you laugh. Was going to put up a photo of the face, but didn't want to put anyone off their lunch.

Bee

Submitted by Ed Crane on

Crap man, dat aint no joke. You sho' is holdin' on tight, Hang on in there mumma.

x

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

X thanks Ed X

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Ditto, Ed, Bee...with knobs onsmiley  Tina x

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Tina.

x

Bee

Submitted by loquaciousicity on

Kinda weird... kinda goood... I liked it lots!!

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Terry.

Bee

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

adding my appreciation to the great long list ... did you mean for this to go in your Journey section? On the plus side, re the red face, you can't possibly look as odd as the orange person I spoke to on a make up counter yesterday

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi insert.

I wasn't sure about putting it on the journey, but have just done so.  I've also added one for today - hope that's alright. 

Those orange make-up sellers are quite something, aren't they?

Bee

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

I often wonder how they manage to sell anything...

it's fine to post two in one day Bee. I'll spread them out a bit on social media though

 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Oh good - thank you. Was a bit worried about doing two. 

X

Bee

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

You're a wonder of wonders that you can get such humor in a rant. I loved this. Made me laugh. Hard. Love your style here.

Rich xx

 

Submitted by Bee on

Glad you liked and laughed, Rich. IF I was clever like you, I could have recorded it as a song to post. But perhaps if I asked really nicely, you might sing it with a tune of your own and record it for me?smiley

xxx

Bee

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Hmm. I love a challenge, Deborah. i will give it a go and see what happens. would be a pleasure. 

Rich x

 

Submitted by Bee on

Yay!!! 

Thanks Rich x

Bee

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