Sleep

Cherry

By belindam1974

Sun, 14 Jun 2009
  • 1726 reads
8 comments
 

I love to watch

You sleep

The quiet serenity

That wipes across your face

The slight smile

How your hair falls

Playfully over an eye

I see the mischevious little boy

That was

And possibly the one

That will be

Sometimes I stroke your brow

I just want to make sure

That the beautiful vision

Before me is real

Always careful not to

Wake you

Then one eye opens

“Good morning….”

You whisper

Certificate U
Poem
Just Poems
Love

Comments

Submitted by Ewan on
O Lucky, Lucky Man. The following is just about perfect: I see the mischevious little boy That was And possibly the one That will be The whole poem would be so much stronger with a little more punctuation - for example: I see the mischevious little boy That was - And possibly - the one That will be I'd think about punctuating the whole poem carefully. Nevertheless, it's really lovely. Well done. Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by belindam1974 on
Well, Ewan.. Quite honestly, he remains in my head. ;-)

 

Submitted by belindam1974 on
Thank you very much! Yeah, I felt something when I wrote that line.

 

Submitted by belindam1974 on
Noted, my friend.. Thank you so much!

 

Submitted by Jupiter on
...and then we're into.. The Morning after ;-) How I love the immediacy/reality/truth of "I can sense You poking me" Hi Belinda, Sorry - I digress ;) but you started it ;-), I can see you're still "getting all these ideas" ;-) The lines that Ewan highlights are my favourites too. Congratulations on the cherry. ;-)

Submitted by belindam1974 on
Great minds think alike, Jup.. I was thinking the same thing about "The Morning After". Behave about the poking...LOL That's what some guys do. And no, Jup, I did not start it... You did. Tee hee! I have to admit that I liked those lines also. You know how when you see someone who's asleep and they look so innocent and almost child-like, (Even after the good, bad things that may have preceded.) *batting lashes* . That is where that line came from. Before and after..LOL

 

Submitted by DraxB on
beautiful and moving

Submitted by belindam1974 on
Much appreciated, DraxB. I look forward to your writings.