An Education. (Work in progress)
By Benjamin Myatt
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Poets, painters, actors, dancers,
Hang your garments by the door,
Leave your dreams and aspirations,
You won’t be needing them no more.
Leave at home your secret wishes,
Let desires burn in flames,
Answer clearly ‘sir’ or ‘madam’
As you hear your given names.
Today’s activities as follows:
Sit in silence, listen well,
Keep your questions buried deeply
And copy down the lies I tell.
Your personality’s forbidden,
Creative thought best left alone,
If you’re caught in search of innovation
We’ll warn your mother down the phone.
We’ll tell her that you’ve been corrupted,
And spread infection through the class;
Unruly behaviour catches quickly
Thanks to one pain in the arse.
And if, like you, dear mummy questions
Anything we say or do,
We’ll let her know this institution
Prob’ly isn’t right for you.
You’ll soon be shipped to other schools
Or moved to lower sets,
But don’t get caught up breaking rules;
There’s a tin man in you yet.
Regardless of ability
In English, maths or history,
Obedience is what we need
From academics who achieve.
Your teenage years are not in place
For you to challenge norms,
What students come to us to learn
Is how best to conform.
It doesn’t matter what your school,
No matter what your set,
You’ll live according to the rules;
There’s a tin man in you yet.
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Comments
This is great. A few tweaks
This is great. A few tweaks needed on the rhyme scheme, know it's a work 'in progress.' Stanza 5 and 9 need balancing, just stand out as being abit short in the rhyme. 'Thanks to one pain in the arse' doesn't work. Maybe re-format that to 'ass' and lengthen the preceding line? The tin man image works well - it smacks of staid British convention and ties in nicely with The Oz heart imagery.
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You may be right because it's
You may be right because it's a British based piece. Something needs altering in that line. Maybe substitute class for group and re-think the arse line. The rhyming is very well done, great rhythm. It's only the end lines in those two stanzas. Rhyming's hard - I don't ever attempt it.
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