Thanks...thanks for coming out
By braintrain
- 519 reads
This is the poem of Waldo
the laziest worker I ever met
Early one Saturday morning
I awoke to the sound of loud snoring
from the racks of cadavers
lying in the other bunks at the shelter.
It was early and hot and I'd had enough
Of the smell and the heat and other stuff
so I stumbled down and out the door
back to the street
With a head pounding like an angry drum
I made it to the road and stuck out my thumb
but it was early and I ended up walking
to the grocery store
It turns out I only have five bucks(in change)
which really f'n sucks
but what could I do
I bought 6 eggs,2 noodles and 2 buns
Now crossing that parking lot
holding the bag with everything I got
I hear this squeaky voice call out
"hey mister!Need a ride?"
Without looking up I'm suspicious
since I know people can be really viscious
but I glance to my left at an ugly car
with the side door kicked open anyways
Inside is a sorry sack a shit,a real pile
all hidden behind an angels smile
as we're driving the four blocks to my stop
he casually asks if I need a job
"Well yes I could use a little work"
but I'm thinking not for you you jerk
he says gimme your number I'll call you Monday
as I jump out he says"My names Waldo"
Monday dawns all bright and pearly
and my phone rang really,really early
to a squeaky voice"morning Dave!you ready to go to work with me?"
I say"look, I'm pretty far away man"
He says"no problem get here when you can"
So a few hours later I show up
he drives me the rest of the way for an hour.
By the time we show up its noon
I'm hoping the foreman wasn't expecting us soon
no need to worry says Waldo
I'm the project manager.
So the introductions go around
and I swear that the carpenter frowned
but what am I but a slave anyways
I grab a shovel and start sweating
Well I never!Such a large house built by three!
Just Waldo ,Gordon and me
Its 12:30 now and as I look around
I notice Waldo has vanished
by and by one weeks work turns into three
which just means more money for me
but is Gordon ever pissed at waldo
who shows up everyday for 2 hours then leaves
When Waldo shows up hes in the way
not once or twice but everyday
then Gordon clues me in about waldo
it seems he went and took an $8000 advance
For permits and such so he said
which put the books in the red
"well Gordon"I ask"what use is Waldo"
"none" he says
"I only keep him here to get something back
from what he spent on crack"
Finally Gordon had it with wierdo waldo
and told him not to return
Yet the next day there he was
dressed like a tourist with gloves
an angels smile on his face
supposedly ready for work
Not 15 minutes later
that wormy little traitor
breaks(haha)his ankle
and can no longer work
So hes now on compensation
an immpermanent vacation
but at least hes gone and me and Gordon
can finish the job
Thanks Waldo..thanks for coming out
I no longer wonder where in the world Waldo is cause I really don't care as long as he stays there.Waldo only wanted me there so he could escape the jobsite easier.lol
I guess the message of my story is there are a lot of good people in shelters and such with no work.
As well as a lot of real slimey shitbirds who are hogging up good jobs.
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been in a shelter meself-
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