how can i...

Got myself a twisted paranoid mind,
I found it in my genes,
Got myself a little too much attitude,
Overdosed on hate since my teens!

Can't love you because I can't love me,
You know the vicious circle,
Can't help it, please help me,
From my selfish world!

Got myself lost in a dead end street,
I tore up the map long ago,
Got myself caught in the frying pan,
The gas cylinder is about to blow!

Can't be with you and I can't be me!
You know the madness will arrive!
Can't blame you, will you blame me,
For keeping myself alive?

Got myself tied in knots,
From an always shorter piece of string!
Got myself swimming with the sharks,
Will I "thank god for the suffering?"

I tried; I failed and got angry,
So why the hell do you want to know me?
For me it's not worth "the try"
For in the end you will still hate me,
Can't love you and can't love me,
But I don't want to stew on your pity,
I can't help it, can't help me,
In this world so grey and s!"?$y,

So why should I try or lie?
And how can I love this world when everybody hates me!