Seline Saves the World

Seline Allbright’s the name and it’s quite a story.

One day the black Bedford pulled into Mr. McMaster’s drive just where I couldn’t see what was going on. By the time I rushed round the corner a guy in dark glasses was driving the van away. Next day the aerial went up. A huge thing it was. Like an umbrella on the end of a pole thirty feet tall. Evil Aliens, I thought. It seemed the logical conclusion. I knew I was going to bump into them sometime. I’ve studied them for long enough, read all the books Nancy in the library can get for me, and lots of people have seen them, so I wasn’t surprised that they’d moved next door.

It was quite exciting really to know that Evil Aliens were living so close by. Mind you I’ve always been suspicious of Mrs. Simpson at Number eleven. Curtains tight shut at one o’clock in the afternoon. Really. Couldn’t prove it though. If only I could speak to her - but she never answers the door. This was different.

Mr. McMaster had only moved in a month ago. He was a bit rude I thought when I called to say hello as the removal men started to unload the furniture. Tried to stop me getting into the van. But I made allowances. Now I could see why. There was probably lots he didn’t want me to see.
What should I do? Call the police? They probably knew all about the alien and had been mind wiped or wouldn’t believe me. Last time I phoned they didn’t even bother to come round. I had to walk all the way to the station in the rain. The sergeant was a nasty piece of work. Just a bully, talking to me like that, a law abiding citizen, just because I dripped on his notepad and made the ink run. Anyway since he told me that he had my number I’ve been waiting for him to call.

OK, Seline you’re on your own I thought. I would go and speak to the Alien. Funny how aliens are always male. I guess they must leave their wives at home while they terrorise the universe and wipe out civilisation. I suppose terrorising and wiping out is just one of those male things. I wasn’t scared. I’ve seen him in Safeway buying washing powder and I was sure he wouldn’t kill me in the middle of the day. I’d have to make sure my door was locked tonight of course. I put on my blue cardie.

I marched round the corner into Rodney Drive instead of taking the quickest way over the fence. I knew from experience that people preferred to have a knock at their front door. I knocked at the front door.

Mr. McMaster opened the door. He stood staring at me, his mouth hanging open, a strange expression on his face. I’m sure he didn’t expect me. He was wearing pink piggy slippers. I’ll bet he felt guilty. He looked upwards at something above the door frame that I couldn’t see. A trap? I stepped inside and looked up too but I could only see the blank wall. He developed a coughing fit. Just a pretext to cover his confusion I think.
“Can I help you?” he finally managed to say, standing right in front of me so that I couldn’t see past him.

Now I must admit that I wasn’t quite sure what I was gong to do. Play it by ear is always my motto. It’s never worth planning much ahead, I find, things change so quickly. I was going to have to rely on my wits. I remember Mam used to say, “Seline, with your wits and my muscles we make a good team.” She wasn’t that strong so I had to think doubly hard.

“No, not really,” I said. “I’m your neighbour from across the fence, you know, I just wondered...” What had I wondered? This was tricky.
“I know,” he said. His voice sounded very flat. He was examining the ceiling in close detail again. His cheeks flushed. Definitely guilty about something I thought.
Inspiration struck. “I wondered if you’d noticed that big aerial thing in your garden?”
“Noticed it.” He paused to cough again. “Of course I noticed it. It’s mine. I put it up myself.”

No pretence. At least he was honest. “That’s good.” I said.
He stared at me. His eyes were all sort of bulgy and watery. There was silence for a few moments. I could hear a clock striking in a room somewhere behind him. It had a very pleasant ding.
“Is that it,” he blustered.
“Yes, ten o’clock. I suppose it’s an antique.” I said.
His hand was on his forehead, rubbing hard. Perhaps a subcutaneous communication implant. I had no doubt that our conversation was now being recorded for training purposes. Perhaps even transmitted live.

“It’s not an antique. How could it be an antique? I’ve only just bought it.”
I knew right away he was talking about the aerial again. Just couldn’t keep away from the subject.
“Please go,” he said.
Now that was tricky. What exactly did he mean? I was sure there was something significant behind those words. Play for time, Seline, I told myself.

“I like aerials,” I lied. “There’s something about them. A certain je ne sais what.”
“What?”
“It’s French.” I almost felt sorry for him. It must be difficult with all the worlds’ languages to learn. “Can you speak Chinese?”
He was shaking his head. “I don’t understand you. Why don’t you leave me alone? What do you want?”
“Well I just wanted to see your aerial and all the other stuff. I bet there’s lots of other stuff.” I darted my head to the side to try and see round him.

“Don’t tell me you’re interested in radio?”
“Yes, that’s it. Radio’s my thing I’m always listening. There’s always something on.”
He gave a huge sigh. “I suppose you’d better come and look if it will keep you happy.”
I felt that I’d carried that off really well. This was dangerous. Into the lion’s den and all that. I’m sure he wasn’t as stupid as he looked.
He slammed the front door shut and led me to a door at the back of the hall and threw it open. “There you are.”

I gasped. The room was crammed from top to bottom with stuff. Computers and things with dials and switches. Things with winking red and green lights. Humming things, flashing things. The nerve centre obviously. Why was he showing me this? Be subtle, Seline, I told myself.
“Why are you showing me this?” I said.
“You wanted to see it, dear. It’s what I do. It’s my hobby.”
His hobby indeed! Destroying planets and subjugating the human race a hobby. I ask you. No point in pleading with him then. Pitiless he was. No feelings. I felt calm though. Direct action was called for.

“Got any tea?” I asked.
He looked at me funny like.
“Tea. You’ve got a cheek.”
“Yes,” I said. What did he mean by that?
“Look if I give you a cup of tea, will you go away?”
“Yes, of course,” I said. I smiled at him as nicely as I could.
He made a funny noise and marched to the door. “Come on then. I’m not leaving you in here on your own.” Damn! How had he seen through my plan?
I only took a sip of the tea. I knew it was drugged.

“Thank you,” I said. “I’ll see you later.”
“In your dreams,” he said.
More like my nightmares.
And then I was outside. I’d escaped. I looked at the blue sky and the lovely trees and the little birds and all the beautiful things on this beautiful planet that’s home to me now and I knew what I had to do.

Preparations first. I made the emergency call to Alpha Centauri. The one I hoped I would never have to make. It’s easy, you just press the buttons on the radio in the right order. Two, one, five, six. Just like my telephone number. It’s not really a radio of course, it’s a sub ethereal communication device but nobody knows that but me. My pals on AC will help me if the Evil Alien overpowers me.

So that’s it. I’ve written it all down in case I don’t come back. I’m going there tonight when it’s dark and this time I’ll make sure. I’ll take all the gear, knives, hammers, disrupter beams. I think that he knows that I know about him, but does he know about me? You know what they say. It takes one to know one. I’ve been waiting a long time to fulfil my destiny. They put me here you see to deliver the human race from the Evil Alien Hordes. I remember what Mam said.
“You must be meant for something in life, Seline. Christ knows what.”
All these years I’ve been waiting for him to let me know the moment and now he has.

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The Daily Record 16th Sep 2011
Gas Explosion Rocks Rodney Drive

An explosion last night completely demolished a house in Rodney Drive, West London. All that remains of the £127000 house is a smoking hole in the ground. Police are unsure if the house was occupied. Miraculously the houses on each side were completely unscathed although several people are being treated for shock. Police have ruled out terrorist activity and the most likely cause is a gas explosion. Reporter Andy Coltstooth interviewed a resident, Miss. Allbright(58) who claimed to have witnessed the explosion.
“I seen it all. A white light from the sky it was. And a noise like to blow your socks off. I didn’t get there in time you see. Too slow so they done it for me.” Miss Allbright was off the opinion that the explosion was the work of little green men from Mars. Your reporter thinks the local gas company should continue its investigation!!

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Report to comsec &&alpha-cent.&&
Sig received red-red deep agent 2NZ repeat red-red.
All traffic on hold. Plan terraxtrem in operation. All agent alert. Report soonest.
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